post for 4/21/04:

Come to the edge
He said. They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge
He said. They came.
He pushed them, and
they flew...
-Guillaume Apollinaire

ahhhhhh it's finally freaking over!!..every 2 weeks one of us entry-level people have to hold a training session for everyone else..and today was mine..and with my luck i ended up getting the most confusing topic to talk about..so for the past month i've been trying to totally understand the subject..sooo hard!..and today my training came..for those of you who know me..you know i absolutely HATE public speaking..i mean i've even taken seminars here at work for public speaking..and i did just fine in front of these strangers..but put me in a room full of people i see on a daily basis and i freak out..dude..15 minutes before i had to go my heart was pounding, my palms were getting clammy & i kept having to use the bathroom..and then 9 o'clock came around..it was time..so after about an hour and a half of talking nonsense..it was all over=)..yay i'm done..i was scared that i'd be talking all speedy on them & my voice would be shaky..but that only lasted for about uhhh..the first 5 minutes..hehehe...so i'm just glad i'm done..it totally felt like senior project in civil all over again..and now the anxiety is over..phew!...i swear public speaking must be one of my greatest fears..that and snakes & rats..yuck!

heheh so this week i've been doing the treadmill at the gym to try and increase my endurance..see i'm trying to do the half marathon in pv...cuz if i do the half-marathon i'll get a medal=P...plus i think it's to raise money for their ymca and kiwanis clubs?...so yah, this week has been focused on the treadmll..and what's funny is that after about a half hour of it..right when i step off, it feels like i'm still moving..like when i was walking to the water fountain i felt like i was on those sliding escalator things..i was like.."hmm..i feel like jamiroquai" (sp)..hahahah..so hopefully i'll be in good enough shape to even register for the marathon..it sounds fun..but gosh..13 miles..how will i ever be able to even do 26.2 for the l.a. marathon???...

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-Ziggy

this week in reflection:

1) Happy Belated Easter!

2) Easter weekend spent in Lemoore with family went pretty well...Lemoore?, yes right near Tulare by joemama's home=P...the funniest part of the weekend was taking our cousins to the Hanford mall..it was such a nice sunny day that we rolled down all the windows in my car to catch the "fresh air"...and as we were approaching the freeway entrance a smell like no other blocked all senses in our minds and we frantically tried to roll up our windows and blast the a/c to flush out the smell..the lovely smell of the cows grazing in the fields i'd imagine...hahahha that was soooo funny! but i'd have to say the best part, besides seeing my cousins whom i haven't seen for almost 10 years, had to be the night me and boogalou were playing ball with my little cousin on saturday night..it just seemed so peaceful out there and the sky was filled with soooo many stars..it was a picturesque moment in my opinion...even the drive up to lemoore was..hmm how can i say it..i guess very calming? i dunno...it's just nice you know..driving up the 5 and seeing all the landscape and just nature..cheesy yah..but it was a relaxing drive..joe do you know what i mean?..

3) i absolutely positively can't stand those sacramento queens!! and having to watch the lakers/queens game with a bunch of sac fans doesn't make it any easier!!.....muahhahah but at least our lakers are first in their division=P...geez how does kobe do that?

4) working out is a very good stress reliever..not to mention the days of hitting the beach are nearing and it's time to really start firming up my tummy dude!

5) i caught a glimpse of the jessica/nick variety show..man, the girl has the weirdest facial expressions when she sings..it's soooo not attractive watching the way she sings that song to top gun.

6) after giving up shopping and eating chocolate for lent...when sunday came around i gave myself the biggest reward..no shopping spree..instead...a nice slice of chocolate dobash cake from king's hawaiian...mmmm dobash...mmm

7) ewww i found out that brittney spears bites her TOENAILS!!! her freaking toenails..nasty!!!!!!!

8) i love the chinese chicken salad at label's table deli..it's muy yum=)

9) i can't believe kwame lost last night!..first idol lets go of camille..now kwame comes in 2nd..what's the world coming to?

10) hehe i like watching that one commercial where they show the hot single guy across the hall at work, the new intern that just got hired and the mail guy that delivers mail 3 times a day..ooooh those guys are sexxxay!

11) every day i get an e-mail for the word of the day..this week i got one for the work "pavid"
Definition 1: Easily frightened, fearful, pusillanimous, timorous.
So, for the word pusillanimous i was wondering if that's where everyone got the slang term for "pu--y"...i'd rather not put the word because after reading cici's blog i don't want random people searching that word and finding me..hehe..but yah, funny if that's where that word originated from.

12) for the first time in my life..i watched a movie by myself..not as bad as i thought..and since i finally got to watch the passion, i think it was good to be alone..at times it was hard to watch the movie because it was so powerful..but i'm really glad i did see it..i think i needed to see it..seeing as how there are times when i question my faith..it was a big eye opener...i mean i was scared to see the movie..i have no idea why..but it helped put a lot of things in perspective for me..things that i should never have had to doubt before.

13) my family is crazy..i love them and all..they're just all sooooo crazy!=P

14) the weekend is here, and it's time to watch kill bill vol. 2 baby!!!!!

-aloha and mahalo..belle=)

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
-Ben Stein

zzzzzz...i'm so tired! dude this whole spring forward thing has messed up my sleeping patterns..so instead of the drab feeling of waking up at 530 this morning...i got that blah feeling of still waking up at 530, but it feeling more like 430..yucky...hopefully i'll be adjusted by this week..geez, how come this week feels like it's gonna be a long one? if i could go back in time it'd have to be to the era where people decided to work 5 days a week and only frolick around for 2..i'd knock some sense into them to change that idea up a bit=P...i heard that the u.s. on average has a longer work week compared to other countries..like in europe i think they said the maximum amount of hours they can work is 72, is that right?..and hel-loo in spain they get ciesta time..how cool would that be over here..i'm sure it would cause mucho chaos though..

so the weekend was cool...short but nice..lou & i ended up hanging out w/ his cousin and gf from up north..took them around sunset..and besides having a good time..we (especially lou's truck) learned the hard way about parking in the meters on sunset..be sure to read very carefully what those freaking meter signs say..or else you'll end up like us last saturday..walking around sunset..buzzing..on our way back to miyagi's..when we see that boyfriend's truck is missing..stupid meters!!..the valet dude told us that right at midnight the tow-truck came around and towed the freaking truck away..it was a very eventful night getting his truck back..sorry boyfriend!!..but thanx for being so good about it=).

man i must be in vacation mode still...either that or it's from lack of sleep..but i'm just soooo non-productive today...i've been looking at these plans all morning..and it's taking me like twice the effort just to finish one...bad i know..i'll make up for it tomorrow..

-aloha and mahalo...belle=)