Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.
-David Borenstein.

hmm so i think i've always believed in signs..i know superstitious right? but they just seem to always occur at my biggest moments of doubt. like i'll be thinking of something that can make such a huge impact on my life..and there you go..a bunch of signs pointing me to the direction that i was already leaning towards..funny no? i dunno..or maybe it's all in my head..and i'm MAKING myself see these things..no, that can't be right..i'm just easily amused how's that?..ha..but yah..i guess it's a good thing anyways..in times of doubt and confusion, things will always turn out the way they should. so cliche i know..

so we went to a luncheon today for 2 of my co-workers..at todai..mmm crepes! dude buffets are evil..hahah..but then again it becomes a motivation for me to run since i've been so lazy on my runs lately=P...gosh..suppose to do a 16 miler this weekend..what happens?..i didn't run all weekend and ran just 7 yesterday..*sigh*...studying has sucked up that motivation!

anyways..so we're leaving todai today right? and i get an interesting thing said to me..."hey, your head's getting big!"..which in my co-workers funky language is equivalent to , "you're losing too much weight that your head seems to be getting bigger."..so he tells me...this was the second time he's said this..the first was last year while i trained for the marathon..then today..and duuuuuuuude it's not like i don't stuff my face like crazy..i eat like 5 times a day..but he seemed to imply that maybe there's more to my losing weight then just running..now should i take offense to this? well it's not as bad as last year when one of my co-workers quietly hinted in front of others, including me, that i was bulimic..that i took offense too..so yah, my quick witted dorky response?.."so, do you want to join me on one of my 10+ mile runs then and see how that goes?" to which she quickly faltered her speech and tried to laugh it off as a joke...i dunno man..it sucks sometimes..but what can you do right? suck it up and realize life goes on..with or without retarded comments like that...ehhh i'm just sensitive right now i guess...bahhh...

weekend was good..belated happy birthdays to jay & danielle..hope the week goes by faster and off to a better start then yesterday..please..

What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.
-Isadora Duncan

so i'm trying to be more disciplined in studying right?..hahah but the more i'm studying the more i think of how much of a vacation i want to go on when the test is over=P...i'm so retarded i know..but it's my motivation to study harder=)...so yah, japan october 2006 peoples..it's on! woohoo..and so we were talking about what cities we'd be going to..tokyo/mt.fuji/hakone/kyoto and i was like..ooooh light bulb:

tokyo = kyoto if you rearrange the letters...i NEVER noticed that!!! i wonder if that was on purpose..anyone??

so anyways...since i'm all excited for japan now..i'm starting to get the new year's traveller's itch..uhh seems reminiscent to last year when i was planning for costa rica..i just wanted to go EVERYWHERE!!..so i'm going to hope my credit card doesn't hate me..or me for even thinking of abusing my credit card=P...but i'd like to go to a tropical beachy area at the end of april..hahah.and guess what? i found an all inclusive deal to cabo!! 5 nights for $599..i consulted w/ others and found out that that's not a bad deal at all..but since i know i'm not thinking clearly..i'll wait on that one for a bit to at least let it sink in my head that i'm spending way too much than i should be..yet the little bugger on my shoulder keeps telling me "aww c'mon, when else will you get to travel to all these places? gotta do it now=)"...geeeeez, how can i say no to that???..hahah...

and it's not like i'm saving so great right now anyways...not when my roomie is such a bad influence on me w/ my hidden shoe addiction=P...i used to always always always buy at least 1 pair of shoes a month..this was back in the day..then i saw the credit card bill racking up..and later i started donating shoes to salvation army/family in philippines which i DIDN'T even wear yet!! oh shame on me i know!!!!!!..but all those shoes were always bought for a good deal..i promise=)...so i totally toned down on buying shoes..but man..in the past 2 months i just bought 4 pairs of shoes..well one i needed..a new pair of running shoes!..and i totally needed the casual beige shoes from aldo, and hel-looo i do need chill boots for when we go on our snowboarding trips..and you can't deny a new pair of dress up boots right? especially when they were on sale?...i'm justified right?..right! *sigh*...then i cringe when i see my monthly statement..and now here i am going on a travelling splurge..heheheheh...i'm hopeless..at least i have boyfriend constantly reminding me of the big purchases i want to make in the future..so that usually snaps me back into reality..i should do like that one commercial..put a tick mark on the shoe box for everytime i wear a shoe..then i know i got my money's worth..yah that's a good one!

you know...this past friday i think was my first like, real night alone at the apartment..i mean...weekdays i've been alone and stuff and i'm used to that..but weekend..yah this i think was my first time alone..no roommate..boyfriend was out w/ the boys..no going out for me..i just relaxed at home...watched "saved"..hahah that movie is freaking funny..did some studying...chatted online..pretty relaxing i might add...also sad i guess..i was like..hmm let me call so and so, oh wait..don't want to bother them..it is friday! and i'm sure everyone but me is out...then i started getting all mushy and like...aww i have no friends..hahahha...totally pms'ing all right!..then i got over it and became all bummy..it was nice..geez i just re-read this paragraph and i feel all dorky..oh well...at least someone can get a good laugh out of it=)..if i did that..then woohooo..hahahahahah

ahhh so since cici's test on my blog is finito..here's my post..although it may look familiar to some..


It is what it is..
-everyone=P

So i've begun to think that I'm not taken seriously at work..well not just work..i've always realized this w/ my family too, ha even boyfriend!!!!!!..i guess i mean..like..when someone asks you something and you answer..they usually take your word for it right?..ha, for some reason that just doesn't apply to me..someone will ask me something..i answer..yet they seem to not be satisfied or like my answer..so they go ask someone else..only to be told the same thing i had previously said..booooo..sucks! what a boost to someone's self esteem..hahah..i guess i don't mind so much w/ family..cuz yah, they're family and i can be mean back to them whenever they don't hear my voice..must be the middle child syndrome=P..but at work?..okay well i don't want to talk about workwork stuff, per one of my previous posts..but for reals..don't ask me something if you dont believe what i'm saying..i guess my voice doesn't exude the confidence one needs to hear when looking for answers? am i not matter-of-fact when i speak? hehe guess not!..but ehhhh..it's not like i say "i told you so!"..even though i sooooooooooooo want to..hahah.. maybe that's why today it bothered me..cuz it's happened numerous times before and i just sucked it all up..but nah ah..not today..today i shall vent to my blog=)..thank you for listening.

so i missed my long run this weekend..2 weekends in a row now..do i feel guilty yes? do i mind? not really..i mean..i really really want to finish this marathon..but this time around i have to seriously concentrate more on my test in april..it's like reverse of what happened last year..i was so gung ho about marathon training last year that i thought i could cram 5 years of engineering knowledge into my head in 2 weeks..uhhh didn't work..so this time around..it's more studying..as much as i want to finish the marathon in under 5 hours..i'd much rather pass this 2 day exam this time=P...please don't be mad fellow team sore knees..heheh..WHEN i do pass..i'll go back to drill sergeant about getting our runs in=)...deal?

aww so okay i don't like forwards..but my dad forwarded this to me..hehe hope it brings some kinda smile on your face today!:

You may have seen these before, but they're good reminders to start the
year off right.

________________________________

Take time to smell the roses. (hehe real roses..not u-tot's!)
Take a nap on Sunday afternoon.
Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Never deprive someone of hope. It might be all they have.
Be thankful for every meal.
Don't be afraid to say I'm sorry.
Don't take your health for granted.
Improve your performance by improving your attitude.
Listen to your children.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Keep good company.
Keep your promise.
Be kinder than necessary.
Take good care of those you love.
Make it a habit to do nice things.
Wear outrageous underwear.
Vote.
Judge your success by the degree that you're enjoying peace, health
and love.
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Be romantic.
Live so that when you your children think of fairness, caring
integrity, they think of you.
Never give anyone a fruitcake.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Sing in the shower.
Don't nag.
Don't gossip.
Don't tailgate.
Don't expect money to bring you happiness.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Never give up on anyone. Miracles happen every day.
Say thank you a lot.
Say please a lot.
Take your dog to obedience school. You'll both learn a lot.
Slow dance.
Don't rain on other people's parades.
Don't postpone joy.
Don't blame others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Take care of your reputation. It's your most valuable asset.
Count your blessings.
Whistle.
Marry only for love.
Call your parents.
Do more than is expected.
Be there when others need you.
Never sell yourself short.
Never be ashamed of your patriotism.
Never be ashamed of honest tears.

okay back to some gruntwork..happy tuesday..

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish.
-Ovid

oh please please please i don't want to be sick for tahoe..this freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeakin sucks..i thought i was doing better yesterday..i guess it didn't help that i didn't sleep as earlier as i thought..i ended up talking boyfriend's ear off last night..hahahha..but did i pay for it..woke up with my throat all yucky and dry feeling..so i panic..and drink my green tea on the way to work..settle in at my desk..drink my airborne..do my usual 5 minutes of nose blowing..but for some reason it doesn't want to stop..since i've gotten in i've been blowing my nose like no other..my eyes are slowly starting to get watery..i feel my back beginning to ache and my chest tightening..my eyes feel extrememly happy when i close them for longer than a blink..those aren't signs of sickness right?..hahah maybe i'm just being all hypochrondriac...dude i hope so..i don't want to be siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick...if you know me you know i become the biggest baby when i'm sick..and of course the most junkiest, laziest looking bummy sick person..ehhhh i feel like yuck right now=(..i wanna go home and sleep=(...

so anyways..everytime i'm about to blog i see this thing called "ad sense" supposedly you make money if someone clicks on one of the ads on your blog? so c'mon fess up, who's taken part in this?..if it's one of those ones that causes pop-ups when someone reads my blog..ehhh forget it..i haaaaaaaaaate those..especiallyt the pop up that fools you on the "close" tab..it's like a fake one that you end up getting diverted to their site...sneaky sneaky advertisers!! so yah, j'm just curious if i should take part in the man's plan to take over all websites..and maybe get paid on the side..hahahha...

man too much staring at this white screen is hurting my eyes..oh yah..freaking forgot my glasses today..dangit i need to get my extra pair already..so i can leave that pair here at work...when oh when can i pick up my glasses?..this is so sad...i need to go now..too much complaining from me..hahha..

There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

so i have found 2 things that i find quite rude:

1) being at the gym and having the person next to you cough like crazy and NOT cover his mouth! duuuuuuuuude do you not know that we all inhale the same air as you? do you not have any ounce of kindness to just grab your workout towel and cough your icky germs in there or on your sleeve? dude i almost slipped off of the treadmill cuz i was trying to be as far from him as possible..and i would've tried to look for another treadmill, but seeing as how it seems that everyone would like to fulfill their new year's resolution..there were no extra treadmills around..bahhh...

2) you're in traffic...you're glad that you can finally exit..and it should be a clear straightaway on the exit ramp yes? NOOOOOOO, not when the car in front of you decides to use the exit lane as their personal "squeeze in to the next lane at the last minute" lane. booooo on stupid drivers like that..it sucks too when you're driving at a faster speed in your exit lane then the rest of traffic..and then all of the sudden the car ahead of you slams his/her brakes to do a merge back onto the freeway..i can't stand drivers who do that...bahhhhhhhhhhhh.....hehe but be proud..i was trying so hard not to go honking happy..which i really REALLY wanted to do..but didn't..he, but that didn't stop all the other cars behind me from honking...muahaha

hahahah...gosh..still the beginning of the new year and i already have 2 complaints? ah, shame on me..but man..some people have no common courtesy..if they did then i wouldn't have these complaints, see?

so i have my last physical therapist session tomorrow..the exercises he's been giving me seem to be helping..i now know that the investment i made into my knee braces was pointless..oh well..guess we all gotta learn the hard way..now i just have to do all these leg muscle strengthening exercises that he told me to do for like 8 weeks..well that's how long he said it'd take for my muscles to actually benefit from my exercises..so we'll see..that's like right before the marathon...hahha you know what's funny? or maybe my mind has just gone to the gutter=P..but when i go to the therapy session, most of the time i'm lying on this bed thingy and the therapist stretches out my leg muscles/massages...and it's soooooooooo funny..when i first get there he's like.."okay get on the bed and lie on your back and face me." which is said in the most innocent tone..but my mind just starts to giggle..hahahah...dangit on my perverted friends=)..hahhaha...gosh i hope i don't laugh out loud for today's session!

boooooooooooooooooooooooooo i hope i didn't catch anything from that coughing guy at the gym..i woke up this morning and i normally blow my nose like crazy right? and then everything is okay..but this morning my nose still felt stuffy..so i drank my green tea on the way to work..making sure that i eat a little before i drink the tea..hehe learned my lesson from last time...i had a vitamin c drop..i drank an airborne...and i totally forgot that too much vitamin c causes you to go to the bathroom more than normal=P..hahha oops...so yah..i hope i hope i hope i don't get sick for tahoe..that would suck ass man! so i'm gonna nix my run today and just sleep after my physical therapy..and try to go to sleep RIGHT after Lost tonight..haha unless boyfriend, cici & jay try to get me to play mario party=P..no, i must be strong and go to bed early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways..yeeha...one more day for this work week and it's off to tahoe! i can't wait..

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
Lat., Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow.
-Horace

wooooohoooo so i went to my first hockey game last night w/ boyfriend, cici & jay, joes & karen..thanx joesan for reintroducing me to the kings again!..hehe..i used to watch them all the time like in 8th-9th grade then it just faded..back then it was all about luc & gretzky..funny how now gretzky is a coach and luc is back in l.a.! it's so cool watching them in person..though i must say..staples center got freaking cold dude! ah well...i had fun nonetheless..mmmmm and finding that danger dog cart after the game was so worth the extra block of walking..mmm mucho yum man! but uhhhh i never realized how stinky it makes farts!..uh okay tmi..but it was boyfriend too!!!=P

dude, i have to remind myself that my stomach can't handle tea in the morning w/o food in my stomach..i was so cold when i woke up that i made green tea before i left for work..but man, on the drive to work i felt all yuck..i wanted to yack..then i ate some of my clif bar and my stomach started to settle again..so i'll take that as a sign for me to not drink tea on an empty stomach...oooh and speaking of tea..we ate dim sum for lunch today and we always ask for chrysanthemum tea instead of the regular tea they give..so on your next dim sum visit i highly recommend the chrysanthemum tea..mmm and the taro/shrimp dim sum...dude i'm getting hungry again..

so friday..yay..so quiet today..good and bad..good that it's more relaxing..but bad that it can get too relaxing cuz i'm still being a lazy bum from the holidays=P..i know i know..next week i'll be good..but ehhhhhhhhh...always hard to go back to the normal routine..boo and add to that the studying i have to do for my april exam..wait..shouldn't whine...this should all be part of my new determination that i'd like to achieve in my quest for self improvement..hahahah

Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours.
-Swedish Proverb

happy belated new year!..2006..how it all goes by so fast now..all i know is that 2005 was a good year..started off great with wonderful people and ended great with wonderful people..and now a new year again..what's in store..i have no idea..well actually..i do know that i am more determined to go travel even more...don't get me wrong..i loved going to costa rica and chicago..but it makes me want to see more of the world!..hehe we ain't getting any younger people's..and if i want to jump out that plane i better do so soon before i chicken out of it=P..with the new year comes a hope of good things to come..of course right?..i guess more of a self improvement..i'd say i did pretty well in 2005...huh boyfriend?..haha i wasn't as mean as the year before right?=)..so yah..let's shoot for self improvement overall and to always enjoy every minute of everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..ahh sounds so optimistic doesn't it..

so these past 2 holiday weekends were sooo tiring..yet oh so fun and filling=P...spent the last 2 weekends driving to vegas w/ boyfriend to go see the familia..ahh my family is crazy..we're not the mushy mushy kinda family, so it's funny when we all act retarded and jumping on top of each other..aww i miss those childhood dog piles..hehe..but dude..for reals, there was way way way a lot of food..it was like a buffet at home every day..mmm so freaking good..heehee and i got to make my strawberry/chocolate tarts for everyone..remember, it's like the cinnabon filling!..haha..ooooooooooh and i finally got to do some shopping...disappointingly though i didn't come out with any new shoes..i did score some new jackets/tops/skirts/work pants/jeans..hehe...but booooooo i was so looking forward to buying me some casual dress shoes..is that an example of an oxymoron??..woohoo i feel smart..ha! oooh and so i'm not much of a gambler right?..so when we were at mgm me & my cousins pooled $20 each into the dollar machines..i hit $300 and so did one of our friends..woohoo..split the pot..sharing sharing..hahah..hmm i wonder if that means this year is a year of dollar jackpots???=P

can't wait to finally hit the snow next weekend..yahoo tahoe here we come!..i've been looking forward to going boarding forever now..and it's cool that i see the snowy mountaintops on my drive home from work..so peaceful..yay, i hope we get to do that ice skating thing friday night..haha..it's so funny watching boyfriend ice skate..it's like he's walking=)..

alright better get back to work..ahhh..the transition from relaxation to concentration..oh before i forget..hehe i finally finished my roll:



hehe dinner with the chicas..i miss my roomies!!!!!!!!!!!



haha us trying to look all cool watching sex & the city while pigging out on boba and chinese take-out=P


okay last one..