Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
-Langston Hughes

doesn't langston sound like such a smart person name? ah well to me it does..i remember when i was watching the real world philly and there was a langdon, and i was like, oh smart name too..but nah i think i like langston better..hehe..okay as an aside, i learned from anne marie and cicely that i talk all the time with ...'s which are known as ellipses..never knew the name..hahha okay so i talk and talk and don't split my paragraphs as much as i should..ehhhhh..=)....

see just for you guys..split my looooooooooooooong phrases=P

so anyways..last night we had our annual girlie christmas dinner/gift exchange..will post pics when i get them developed..yah yah developed..be quiet..i love my dad's old school camera!..lots of laughs and food at our apt...mmmm..always good to have chinese food when you haven't had it for such a long time..even better eating it while watching some sex and the city..and so while i'm still confused as to tinz's description of me being like carrie/miranda...well more confusion on the miranda:

tinz: belle, she's like a mix of carrie and miranda.
me: miranda? but she's like buuuuuuuuuuuutch!
tinz: no!!!!!!!!!...cuz you're not too girly girly like carrie.
me: heeeeeeeeey!
tinz: hehe no i mean, like miranda likes sports and she's all competitive.
me: heeeeeeeeeeeeey! hahahah heeeeeeeeeeeey!

hahah freaking tinz...it was still a good night as always..aww i miss those girls!..almost the complete set...but at least we got to see andree on friday....anne marie cracks the heck out of me with her driving stories..heheh... oh okay, funny moment...a little vulgar but funny=P...we were watching the episode where the guy miranda is with wants her to talk dirty while they have sex..so we started talking about using dick/cock in a sentence..would you rather say "he's such a dick" or "he's such a cock!" almost all of us went with the former..tinz the latter..hahahah...i dunno, okay well maybe you had to be there but it was freaking hilarious..we shall do dinner and more sex and the city again! sooner than later please=)!!!!!

so christmas is done..seemed like a blur..but then it'll leave me anticipating next year's christmas even more..so tiring driving back and forth to vegas..but well worth it..and it should be again, since we're going there for new year's too..get to hang out with the familia again..too bad ate & jason can't make it this weekend..boo..again..always next year=)...man..our 3 secret santa gift exchanges were freaking soooo funny...hahah..and now i can't wait to go shopping at the outlets..hehe...i won't go crazy don't worry boyfriend..but i need clothes..and shoes..and bags..haha...uh-oh!..mmm and probably the last weekend to fully stuff myself with all the yummy food that'll be at the house..then it's back to being disciplined for the marathon training..at least i hope=P.

man so i loooooooooooove listening to "seasons of love" and "light my candle" from the rent soundtrack..serious..just hearing the opening intro to both songs just gives a happy feeling right away..i like to listen to them on my drive home from work..that and another track that boyfriend burned for me..very good relax and stress free songs..which i always welcome..ehhh time for some work..

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
-Japanese Proverb

why is it that i felt like a bah humbug last night?..hahah geeeeeeeeeeez...i feel so overwhelmed right now..like i have so much i have to do before tomorrow night and i'm no where near finishing...boo..sucks to have this feeling..especially since i'm always like..yaaaay it's christmas time..but this time around it just feels so rushed..and i didn't even have time to send out my yearly christmas cards..i ALWAYS send out cards=(...sorry guys..hahah i know how much you look forward to getting my cards in the mail each year...heheh...i think i just hate the feeling of being rushed and not prepared..i'm anal like that..i like things to be done already so that i won't have to worry about it later..i like it when i don't get stressed b/c then things will just get messed up..so i'm hoping that won't happen right now..i think i just totally underestimated how long it would take to finish up my christmas stuff..seriously...these past 3 weeks i've been running on like 4-5 hours of sleep each night...which is no bueno, especially if we're marathon training..the most important thing i could do is to get a good night's rest..which hasn't been happening..ha!..right now my eyes feel heavy but i'm awake..b/c i keep thinking about the things i need to still finish...boooooooooooooooo!..gotta look on the bright side..when this is all over..it'll all have been worth it=)..for sure..

so yay...i'm excited for the christmas party tonight..i'm sure it'll lighten up the mood i've been in this week..ha...and then it's off to vegas tomorrow morning to spend with the familia..should be lots of fun..hehe especially all our funky gift exchanges that came up this year..the regular secret santa exchange...the gag gift exchange..the useful gift exchange..hehe should be time for some good laughs..always a good time with the fam=)

so i've recently come to a self realization about myself..i've always known that i have a strong guilty conscience..for like the littlest of things too..but lately i've just been seeing it come out a lot more..i have no idea why...like i'll do something..then be like..aww i feel bad that i couldn't do this better or that i did that wrong or that he/she said that..blah blah blah....i think i have like an "i feel bad...." syndrome...it's so easy to guilt me into something..(***side note: uhh friends..family..please don't take that as an invitation to use against me!=P)...but for reals..like i'll hear something..and feel like it's my job to help out..then feel guilty that i can't do more...or if someone asks something..and i totally know that it's soooooooo wrong of them to ask of me...i'll try to be strong and be like..no! i can't, sorry..then afterwards feel an enormous amount of guilt on my shoulders..which is about the time that i would then need to vent to boyfriend or one of my sister's just so that i know the choices i made were the right ones..and i shouldn't feel bad about them..is that normal? i dunno..i'm weird i guess..hmmm maybe it's a sign that i need to work on this, like a new year's resoltion?..no idea..oh well...i'm just confused=P..as always..

anyways..yah so i'm here at work..we keep hearing word that we're not allowed to leave early today..like they used to let us do in the past..booooooo...heheh..well not like everyone's doing much right now..i think the holiday fever has kicked in...and i'm lazy today..yesterday seemed way more productive...oh well..i guess i'll have to make up for it all next week at work..right now i have so many things i'm thinking about..so with that...i'd like to wish everyone a very very

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

hope you guys all have a great weekend with your family/friends..and to those traveling..be safe!!!!!
and so i'll leave y'all with the christmas song that has been in my head ever since i heard it at one of the malls..heheh enjoy:

Donde Esta Santa Claus

-Augie Rios

Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus?
Donde esta Santa Claus?
And the toys that he will leave.
Mamacita, oh, where is Santa Claus?
I look for him because it's a Christmas Eve.

I know that I should be sleeping,
But maybe he's not far away,
Out of the window I'm peeping,
Hoping to see him in his sleigh.

I hope he won't forget to clack his castinet,
And to his reindeer, say,
"Oh Pancho, Oh! Vixen, Oh! Pedro, Oh! Blitzen,"
Ole! Ole! Ole! cha cha cha.

Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus?
Oh! Where is Santa Claus?
It's Christmas Eve.

Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus?
I look for him because it's Christmas Eve.

I know that I should be sleeping,
But maybe he's not far away,
Out of the window I'm peeping,
Hoping to see him in sleigh.

I hope he won't forget to crack his castinet,
And to his reindeer, say,
"Oh Pancho, Oh! Vixen, Oh! Pedro, Oh! Blitzen,"
Ole! Ole! Ole! cha cha cha.

Mamacita, donde esta Santa Claus?
Oh! Where is Santa Claus?
It's Christmas Eve.

It's Christmas Eve.
It's Christmas Eve.
It's Christmas Eve.
Alright, Mamacita. I'll go to sleep now.
It's Christmas Eve......

He who angers you conquers you.
-Elizabeth Kenny

alright..so i think i might have a slight case of road rage..just a slight one..on the way home yesterday i was trying to merge into the exiting lane..i've got a 1/4 mile to go and the car to my right seems to be playing with me..i'm signaling and starting my merge into the lane but to no avail..the punk won't let me in...i speed up..and he/she seems to know this and speeds up to..what a meanie!..so i begin to think..fine, if i can't get in i'll just take the next exit..but i was like..noooo dangit..they should let me exit here!!..so i try again to merge..and the car again doesn't let me in=(..so i start to feel my face getting warm and the anger stirring...so i stay slowly by the lane reflectors thinking i'll MAKE them let me in!!..grrrr..ha...and whaddayaknow..they take my same exit..and at the last minute the lane is free and i merge and floor the gas pedal so that i'm right behind the car...drama i know..but i was sooooooooooooooooooooooo mad...and then i see these...i "heart" mexico...i "heart" nicaragua..i "heart" el salvador stickers all over the back..and i just roll my eyes and get all pissy at the car..so after tailing them for about 2 lights..i start feeling bad...it's christmas...don't want something retarded like this to mess up my mood..so i just start tuning out to the music in my car...bahhhhhhhhhh...to mean drivers!..

ha, and this morning there was this guy trying to merge into my lane..and no one was letting him in..and i was like...pshhhh it's traffic and you're trying to merge last minute??!!..and then light bulb clicked..and i realized..duh that was me yesterday..so i let him in..and whoever else had to merge i let them in...hahah geeeeeeeeeeez i'm so retarded..but for reals man, that chick last night pissed me off...but uhh is that road rage??=P

so 3 days til christmas..and just when i thought i was all done early w/ my presents..i realize i have about 2 more to go..grrrrrrrreat..could the malls be any more crowded than they already are..i'm so dreading going there this week...

i think me & cici have become movie-watching whores..hahah..that's all we do now..we get home and we watch all the good movies..since we have like a billion movie channels now!..let's see, i've watched for the first time or the second or more all or most of: in good company, lotr: rotk, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban, harry potter and the chamber of secrets, mean girls, oceans twelve, the prince and me, meet the fockers, supersize me, bruce almighty..i'm sure there's more..but man..never watched so many movies w/in this 2 week span...hahah..we're so lazy huh roomie?=P

ahhhhh..can't wait til friday...soooo much good food is awaiting=)

If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
-Edward W. Howe

maaaaaaan so i'm eating these chicken lettuce wraps from cpk right?..sitting at my desk..trying to chomp on the lettuce quietly since i know the smell of the spicy thai sauce is eminating out of my cube..hahah..don't want to cause too much attention now..and my boss who's cubicle is like diagonally across from me loves to see what i'm eating all the time, so i tried to put the wrap down when i heard him getting up..and maaaaaaaaaan..i freaking dropped it on my seat right in between my legs=(..that thai sauce is oily y'know! and so i have 2 dark spots on my chair..looks like i freaking leaked or something..and it won't come out..booooooooooooooo...when i sit in someone else's seat i always look at the chair to make sure it's clean..now i'm gonna be the "ewww her chair has leak spots on it!" nasty dude!!! bah...

so had our longest run yesterday...tiring! and like these past 2 weeks i've been doing the worst things while training..sleeping late almost every night to do christmas stuff..which does not help me in recuperating my muscle wear and tear..and since i'm all busy after work..no time to cook proper meals..so i've been snacking like crazy...booooooooooooooo.....and i'm suppose to "study" starting today..we'll see if i can even do any this week....ahhhhh not enough time to finish things=(...at least i have most of my christmas shopping done..that's a good thing...cuz we went to the mall last night..and man..the procrastinators are coming out of their shells..cuz it was cuh-rowded!..emphasis on the "c"..hahah...

yaaaaaaaay it rained...although i extremely, most terribly hate driving in the rain..at least it means snowboarding time is upon is..i even saw the snow on the mountaintops last week..yeeha!..time to dust off the gear and see if my knees can handle a session of boarding...duuuuuuuude let's go!..

Lucy: Beethoven's birthday is December 16th Shermy! Have you decided what you're going to get me?
Shermy: Yes! I'm not going to get you anything!
Lucy: What kind of a holiday is it where you don't give girls presents?
-Charles Monroe Schulz, Peanuts

hehe that totally reminded me of a nice little joke boyfriend played on me..or so he says it was a joke=P..he was making his christmas list of things to get everyone..and when he called me over to look at something on the computer i glanced at his other windows and saw the christmas list and got all excited when i saw my name right?..ha and the nice, caring boyfriend i have had something like this written:

babe- nothing

hahah i was like heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...and then he totally busts out laughing like a crazy man..saying hahah i did that on purpose..but for some reason i think he was serious=P..haha i'm so mean...and i shouldn't even be so greedy about getting a present..umm it was just a shock to see=)..don't worry..i heart you still boyfriend..bohahahah...

so anyways..we had a family dinner last saturday..although we had our regular in one ear out the other rambles with our mom..it was still a nice thing to see everyone..and to just be blessed that we all have each other..and so while i was at home i told my older sister (who had pointed out the whole dora thing) about how y'all seemed to agree w/ her!..so we looked at old photo albums and she thought these pics were pretty good to share and see if there was a resemblance..but i must say first..i swear it's the round face and the bangs!!! and tommy..no more laughing!!!! haha





okay so there..that'll be the end of it...and this will hopefully clear up the confusion between myself and miss dora..heheh the end!

duuuuuuuuuuude as i'm typing i'm eating up this yummy cake/pie/fruit tart thingy from porto's..this bakery in glendale..it is soooooooooooo yum-o!...ahhh and earlier we went to shakey's for that buffet lunch..man...and yesterday was our annual christmas breakfast..tomorrow is our annual girl's christmas lunch..next week is our section's christmas party..geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez...have the holidays started or what..it's like non-stop eating..if it wasn't for the marathon training i'd probably gain like a gazillion holiday pounds..hahah...nice.

yay it's friday tomorrow..gotta finish up my christmas presents..pretty much done just have one main one that's driving me crazy.."don't you know i'm loco???"..haha sorry random..just thought of zoolander..alright quick post..need to finish my cake=P..man..last 3 posts all full of pics..enjoy.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
-Jim Ryun

hope everyone had a grrreat turkey filled weekend..i know my tummy did..ahhhh...and i got to bake my first sweet potatoe pie..haha..yay it's fun being able to cook/bake again..i missed it so=P..i got this really cool bday gift from my cousins too...a gift card where i can take like intro cooking classes..should be interesting=P..and hopefully i can use whatever i learn to put rachael ray's book to use..thanx joes & karen!! hehe kitchen confidential here i come=)

so anyways..i put together a studying/training schedule for the marathon in march and my exam in april..it starts this coming monday..duuuuuuuuude..i'm going to have no life=(..no more rest and relaxation after work..booooooooooo..this is going to take so much motivation and discipine..both of which i don't have right now..great..my runs haven't been so good...the knees have been acting up very nasty lately..the orthotics don't seem to be doing the trick..i wonder if i should get my running gait analyzed?..ahhhh i'm sick of going to the doctors for this..my general doctor..a podiatrist..a sports medicine doctor..an orthotics doctor..geez..and my last resort if the orthotics didn't work...sports therapy..booooooooooooo...not looking forward to that at all..hehe so instead, i've been reading the runners forums..and i'm thinking about taking those glucosamine sulphate tablets..heard they help..but i'm scared to try something that's pretty new to the market y'know?..and i'm also going to try some new leg exercises which should help strengthen the muscles around my knees...dang..training this year is no bueno..let's hope my studying goes a little better?

anyways..hmm, so last year i was told by 2 of my co-workers that i look like her..i told lou and he just laughed..then on sunday we had lunch with my sister and her husband..and they too were insistent that i really really looked like her..at this point..lou is totally laughing his arse off..so tell me..do i look like her?

they said it's the eyes...



ummmm i don't see it...haha i say it's the big face!!! booo ..hahhaha..and if you don't know who this little lady is..it's dora..the explorer...ha!

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and new.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

i'd like to add devout thanksgiving to my familia as well=P..late blog tonight since i won't really have access to a computer tomorrow...and since it's almost my beddybye time..it'll be a montage of pictures to reflect the grrrrrrrrrrreat super fun birthday/thanksgiving celebration we had this weekend..but before i do, i'd just like to say a huuuuuuuuuuuge THANK YOU to all the birthday greets i got from everyone..aww i luv me my family and friends..they are the bestest..thank you thank you all for being such wonderful people in my life=)..aww corn!...on to the show:

my birthday weekend started out with a wonderful surprise from the bestest boyfriend in the whole world.. after coming home from work i open the door and tada:


rose petals from the door leading to a yummy cake on the table..

well this was in the middle..but i forgot to put it back after i blew out my candles=P


and to match the name on the cake:


and then i got a knock on the door..heehee and there was lou, all dressed up and holding red roses for me...awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...sooooo nice..heheh...if only i wasn't such a great solver of mysteries..then this would have been the ultimate surprise!..muahahha..but for reals..it was so sweet and thank you thank you boyfriend for making my birthday so special=)..love you!!!...then it was off to watch harry potter w/ cici & jay..awesome movie of course!

then came crazy saturday...starting out the night cheering for the red & yellow knight..woohoo.. and although he lost..it was still good fun yelling and screaming for him to win..


and afterwards we took out all our aggressions onto the ice..to play some broomball...the mighty GRAY TEAM vs. the tiny blue team.. hahah jk!..but whaddya know..we ended up having a tie..6-6..i think we ought to battle it out again..shoot out!


and finally came sunday..started out with our shockers softball game..hehe and though we all were a bit out of it after saturday night's festivities..we still managed to score the most runs we've ever had...13!!...woohoo and i got to go hooooooooooome:


later that night was our yearly thanksgiving dinner with the crew..


always good times when your surrounded by good friends...not to mention crazy amounts of food..


i swear i had to force people to take more food home..heheh so sorry to those who left last..it's the season of giving..so we decided to give you lots and lots of food to last you some lunches and dinners this week=P..but man was the food delicious!!!


soooo..all in all..one of the best weekends..thank you to all for making it so!..life is good=)

Citius, Altius, Fortius. [Faster, Higher, Stronger]
-Henri Martin Didon, The Olympic Motto

so yesterday marked the first day of our marathon training..as i should have ran 3 miles yesterday..i ran out of time and made up for it by running today..baaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh i'm so not in shape for this training..i haven't ran in more than 3 weeks b/c of my knee problems..i got custom made orthotics to try to aleviate my knee pain..so hopefully that works..but the dorko i am forgot to wear them today...d'oh!..hopefully a little ice pack will work its wonders!..but man..those 3 miles today seemed to go by longer than usual..maybe it's b/c i didn't have my music w/ me?..and i had to settle for random thoughts in my head to help the run go by..yeah maybe..but all i know is that i got worked today..hahah...tomorrow's run should be interesting!

today is my tita lily's bday..happy birthday tita lily! she retired in the p.i....i hope she's doing well, i haven't spoken to her for a few months now..gosh so many birthdays in november...i won't even go into mine..b/c i don't want to feel old=(..booooooo...so next topic...haha

oooohh so me & boyfriend stopped by bev & mo last friday...and guess what he bought me?? some yummy don julio...yay! and some electra muscat wine..sooooo yum-o!...you know what don julio means....faded..hehe..for some reason this tequila just goes down smooth and creeps up on you..at least that's what happened in costa rica..ahhh...i think i'll always think of the good times in costa rica with this drink=P..soooo i say let's make some good 'ol margaritas and don julio shots before watching harry potter this friday..well not to get all messed up..just happy buzz=)..whatdya say? who's in??..well actually, whoever i see..you can't say no..it's my birthday!!!!..muahahhaha..hmm or maybe we can do that after harry potter..haha..

ummmmm i really should start studying..who would like to join me for some fun nights of studying? anyone? anyone?

booooo so i am bummed about one thing..me & boyfriend had been planning to fly out to indy to watch either the colts vs. chargers or colts vs. titans game..but due to my financial issues..it wouldn't be a smart move..so if anyone out there is giving away a FREE pair of colts tickets...let me know..i wanna watch!!=(..hahaha..okay enough of my rambles...

I am only one,
but still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
-Edward Everett Hale

i feel like i'm in one of those funk moods that just make everything so blah...maybe it has something to do with the weather..not sure..it's that feeling i get where i just want to lie down, close my eyes and just relax to some good music..or maybe watch lost in translation to jumble up my head more than it is right now..haha..why can't things just stay constant? this roller coaster i'm on right now seems like it's on a huge downhill..i'm waiting for the uphill ride..it's like moving out was just like one of those tiny mounds on colossus..a tease for the huge dip to come..i am happy and all about the move..but there's just other factors that are weighing me down right now...hard to keep things in perspective lately..at least *crossing fingers* the whole deal with the shady biznatch will end tomorrow..i hope i hope..please please..one thing to cross off of my list of stressingness..anyways..don't want to start wallowing in my self pity..but thank you to boyfriend for trying to cheer me up this morning..i like those talks=)

hmm let's try to cheer up now...oh happy belated bday cicely!! aka..roomie..heheh=)..glad i was able to help you break in your bed!!...hahhaha...dork!..man..this monday marks the beginning of marathon training...ahhhhhhhhhhhh..i haven't ran in like 2 weeks!..so busy with moving and unloading and trying to make things pretty..not to mention that i have to start studying for that icky yuck test in april..this time no lagging and studying like 3 weeks before the test..hehe..i need to get disciplined again..luckily there's a library that's really close to the apartment..oh i'm going to be such a nerd..and this time..no giving in to peer pressure..even if it means having to miss out on a good 'ol roscoes lunch with the gang..have to stay strong and not give in..need to focus on studying and running..hahaha...i'm going to be like a robot from now until mid-april..then it'll be back to lazy old me=)..

yay day off tomorrow...love these holidays..november always goes by so fast!..that's good and bad...well the only bad is that it means my 26th is coming up way sooner than i'd like...26? grrrrrreat..ehhhh i think i'll work out right now..maybe it'll help ease my mood=P

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-TS (Thomas Stearns) Elliot

so i'm moved out!..picked up the final load monday night..kinda surreal for me still..i know i know..i've lived on my own before..but the past 3 years i've been so used to just going homehome..it was weird driving out monday night to the place i shall call home for the next year..haha not homehome..just home=P...the drive to san gabriel was..hmm peaceful..not like my my other boyfriend's (orlando bloom..hehe) solo drive cross country in elizabethtown..but it still had that moment of satisfaction to it..which was escalated since i was listening to the lost in translation soundtrack..for some reason when track 5 started playing..i felt like i had those funny movie type grins on my face..you know..where at the end of the movie the guy/girl is walking or driving away and just gets this satisfactory grin on his/her face like everything's going to be alright...and that's the feeling i got..

yah so i still sometimes feel guilty for not carpooling with my dad anymore..but at least when i went home again on monday my parents were being really nice..not the mumbling grumbling like before..and now for some reason my mom has been just giving me random phone calls..so i let her entertain me sometimes and listen to her random rambles..and today me & lou took my dad out for lunch..it's his biiiiiiiirthday..happy birthday daddy-oooo...so i'd like to think that this is a start for a better relationship..hehe cross your fingers.

so how far have i come along with settling in to the new place?..uhhh well i spent like an hour disinfecting and bleaching the bathroom last night so that i can feel comfortable taking showers/dumps/potties in there..man that was tiring...i swear i must've inhaled soooo many fumes..but at least my first shower was rewarding enough for all the sweat i went through..ha! ..my room is still a mess..at least my bed is up..still need to get a new comforter..my closet needs to get organized..my computer has to be set up still..i need to buy another power strip before i can set it up..boooooooo...oh well..we don't have internet anyways until monday..and i haaaaaaaaaaate target..well not really..i love that place..which is why i hate it=P..so many good deals..but alas..i was restricted by boyfriend to only buy the necessities..and was told i'd get a reward if i did..so pay up buddy..whatcha got for me?=)...

i'm still in awe that i moved out..yay this'll be fun..hehe now remember cici..it was okay to blog about your old roommates..now that it's me..uhhhh we'll have to discuss that issue..hahahhahah...mwahahahhaha....bohahahhah..hehhe...=P...duuuude i so have to get used to the crappy drivers in this area..hello, red light means stop..green means go...and it is NOT okay to cross the street when i'm going 45mph when you should be waiting for your turn to cross...bah on stupid people..c'mon now! i swear..how did some of these people get their licenses? so besides the drivers/peds..there's the trains...i think i shall invest in a fan like cici so that i don't have to keep my window open and hear the blaring horns of the trains as they pass by..i will admit..monday night i woke up to 4 trains..last night only 2!!!..hopefully tonight...zero!!!..wow that's like an arithmetic sequence isn't it? you know...what number comes next: 4, 2, __....haha i'm a nerd yes..thank you=)

so today's after work activity..more unpacking..more cleaning..yay fun?!!

Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.
-Willa Cather

ha, no wonder boyfriend kept telling me to pack like a looooooooooong time ago..but me, being the procrastinator..basically waited until last night to pack..not that i accomplished so much..stuffed all the clothes in my closet into my car..haha literally..no boxes, nothing...just grabbed 'em out of my closet..tied some string around the hangers so that they don't get all tangled..and laid them in my car=)...so i have that..and a luggage full of shoes waiting to be shipped to san gabriel=P..haha

and so while i was cleaning out and shredding stuff i came across some OOOOOOOOOOOOLD school stuff from college..hehe like my SPOP stuff..geez i'm a pack rat...our name was jurassic prado..and as i was going down the list of those who stayed there with me...i ran into some familiar names who i didn't even really talk to that weekend: kellyjean, johnjohn, benny, jos...and i also had ray as my staffer..heheh...and with the address list they mailed us i found some letters that some of my dormmates had sent..the funniest had to be from this girl jeannie..now remember, this was the summer before freshman year..the part in the letter went something like this:

"i just got a computer and my dad installed AOL, i have an email address now!!! Do you have an email address?"..and sadly i remembered i didn't get aim until winter quarter..i think uci email was my first email address=P

okay i probably just butchered that part of her letter..but it was soooo funny when i read it last night..shows how far technology came..how we were all so excited to have AOL/AIM on our computers..that was like THE thing to do..hehe especially after freshman year...ahhh memories...so doo dee doo i'm searching through more of my junk and find these quotes that i scribbled on some paper..i think it was when i was babysitting my cousins and saw it on my aunt's calendar or something..so in no particular order (oh and they're all lovey dovey corny okay!!):

"Live life with and open mind and try to love the simple things in life."

"Our heart caves not because we have lost love, but because we have temporarily stopped loving."

"By feeling gratitute for the good times and forgiveness for the mistakes, the heart is filled with the love it needs to heal itself."

"Living in hope prevents us from facing our fears and then letting go of our insecurity."

"There are things you'd love to hear that you'd never hear from the person you'd like to hear from, but then be so deaf as to not hear it from the one that says it from his heart." ---wow that's an earful!

"Don't live life in the past, look forward; because if you keep looking back, you might trip over what is to come for you." ----huh? i think i missed some words there

"If you haven't been screwed in your life, you haven't been in love. But once in awhile you have to let go no mattter how hard it hurts."

heheh geez i was such a hopeless romantic...well i guess i still am..just boyfriend makes fun of me about it sometimes=P..ha! so yah, i guess last night packing was spent more on reminiscing..hehe..grrrrreat and i haven't even gone through the pictures yet!..i think it was a good idea that i just boxed those up..i really should get at least one big box for all the trinkets i have on my bookcase..but instead i got lazy and stuck some stuff in paper bags..heheh..ghetto fabulous i know...ah well..hopefully sunday's move won't be too bad..good luck to the shockers..woohoo go for 6 innings!!!!!!..sorry that i can't make it..

-oh, and muchos thanks to those who listened to my venting..and for their kind words..=)

Once the game is over, the king and pawn go back in the same box.
-Italian Proverb

a absolutely positively abhorrrrrrrrrrrrrr this woman right now..in 2 weeks she'll be paid..and i pray pray pray that I'll never have to deal with idiotic, selfishly shady people like that ever again!! in the mean time..i'll probably be filled with 2 more weeks of stress...bah..actually i'm just going to put this whole ordeal in the weeeeee spot in the back of my mind that is filled with nonsense stuff...there's other things i need to concentrate on, and this woman, is totally not one i'd wish to think about.

so, moving in on sunday..bought a bed on monday which should also be delivered on sunday too...wahoo my first queen bed...so i was making a list yesterday of things i have to buy..and man, just the bed sheet stuff/bathroom stuff/kitchen stuff was already a lot! *sigh* it's expensive to move out..but i need to see it as a future investment..haha to when i eventually own a home...so yah..all this shopping that i HAVE to do is an investment=)...and then i started to make a grocery list..and man..when starting up a food storage from scratch, there's a lot to get...but oh well..just gotta keep telling myself that it'll all be worth it..

i told my parents yesterday that i'm moving this sunday..actually i told my dad, who in turn informed my mom..my dad thinks i'm crazy for wanting to pay to rent when i can be at home for free (uhhh right!)..and he was being all mean saying that they should just adopt a daughter..get a student from the p.i. or something who needs a place to live..what a meanie!!!...and my mom is still in denial..she was like "so are you still moving out?" yes. "why?" and so the backlash of moving out is beginning..i'm hearing the angry and disgruntled mumbles of my parents..no idea if they're voicing it out loud to let me hear it all on purpose or b/c they're so blehhh to me right now..oh well...i talked to ate, she said i just have to tough it out and get thick skinned about it..cuz i know eventually it'll get out to the rest of my relatives and i'm sure i'll hear it from them too..sad isn't it?...that my parents associate my wanting to move out as being "americanized"...i'm sure they'd love me to stay home until i was married..well..if they lived closer to family..closer to anything lively at all..just closer...and were more open-minded with things..hey, you never know..it could've happened..but it's not..so for now, i just have to deal with it all..just hard sometimes...like ate said..i have to remember, that they're just being like this b/c they miss their daughters...

so it's been a pretty emotional week..i'll end with saying...rest in peace grandma lucy..we know you're in a better place and you'll always be missed!

While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love.
-Bo Bennett

I fear: losing any chance at a decent relationship with my parents/getting old/dying/being alone

I worry: that things might not turn out how I thought they would/about letting my parents down

I hate: the stupid crazy biznatch (then again, hate is such a strong word..and you can only really hate someone if you love them..and i do not love this lady...bah, stupid stupid woman!!)

However..

I'm happy: though my parents may not understand "the why's" of my recent choices..they're still my parents..they'll always be the overbearing, protective, old school parents that love me & my sisters..even if they do have weird ways of showing it/the last 3...as long as i know i'm enjoying life with those i love..things will be okay

I'm enthusiastic: of things to come..moving out..future travels..

About Love: I'm glad to be surrounded by people who love me..though we all may have our disagreements..I know that my loved ones are always there for me.

yah yah uber cheesy...but i have to be thankful for what i have instead of letting other things stress me out...good to remind myself of these things too..so i don't take it for granted, like i sometimes do=(..but it's a learning thing for me..

anyways..there's a new word..the uber sexual male..haha what will they come up with next

What goes around comes around...
-ummm i dunno, but it's a universal quote!

i believe in karma..so i truly believe that those who try to take advantage of a situation for selfish reasons will only be hit negatively 10x worse!..okay dramatic..but still..i'm beyond pissed right now..i'm trying to keep calm..basically an incident which occurred over a year ago which should have been fixed then..and by my own mistake wasn't..is now coming back to me..b/c i was the stupid one to have good faith in this other person..only to realize that she may just well be a biznatch who's trying to scam my family..so..i have 2 options..i can either pay the whole thing off knowing that this woman is trying to take advantage of my family..or i can pay the share i'm responsible for and go to small claims to argue the rest..good to have a lawyer brother-in-law in the family..i dunno..i'm really wanting to go with the latter..but i don't want to have to go through that stress and have my family go through it as well..ehhhhhhhhhhhhh...stupid woman..pissing me off...

and here i was in a good mood last friday cuz things seemed to be on an upside..then i get a message from my mom..and things take a slight twist in this path of my life...ha, i knew being debt free from my credit cards was too good to be true..hahah...oh well..i had like a week of being debtless...well not totally..i still have school and car loans...and now this stupid stupid mean ugly scamming woman has to mess it up!..i know..petty thing to think about..worse things to worry about...but i just don't like knowing that this woman thinks she can take advantage of my family y'know? oh well..i'll get over it....why? b/c i believe what goes around comes around=)

so anyways..i can't believe it's raining..i wish i had my camera with me this morning..the sky was nice...the moon hiding behind a ripple of clouds against a navy blue sky..purdy!..hope everyone's safe on the roads! there's some crazy drivers out there y'all..

yay so me & cicely have our place...well we've put our deposit for our future apartment in san gabriel...and we get to move in at the end of the month..i'm excited...man..i have to get a new bed..maybe a new dresser..oh and new cooking stuff for the cool kitchen..fun bathroom decorations..hahah....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...and here i thought i'd be saving=P..geez i'm so bad..i think i need to talk to a financial advisor!

It is our responsibities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.
-Peter Ustinov

dangit! i saved my post cuz my browser was acting really slow..i guess i didn't hit ctrl+c hard enough..cuz just now when i tried to paste my post into another new entry ..NOTHING!NADA!ZILCH!...booooooooo...and it took so long...well like 20 minutes!..hmm let me try to get the basics of my story...boo..

okay so like back in july or august, i thought i had pinkeye...but after talking to jovan's soon to be sister-in-law..soon to be dr. of opthamology...she told me it was most likely some type of bacterial infection from using 2 week old disposable contacts that i should have changed a while ago...so to my story of how it all began..

in july, me & lou were going to magic castle with my sister and her husband..and so, it's the weekend..i want to wear my contacts..usually i only wear them on the weekends since they make my eyes dry...(okay don't laugh too hard now Cat!!) and i rationalized that since they are 2 week disposables..if i wear them only on the weekends..they should be good for AT LEAST 7 weekends right?..hahahah...yah, uhhh right..

so i had no idea when the last time i changed out these contacts..so i figure after magic castle i'd start new ones..so i put them on..and throughout the whole night my left eye felt like burning! well more like itchy and dry..and my sister kept saying my eye was getting more and more bloodshot...but i was determined to wear my contacts til we left magic castle..once we got out the doors..i ripped them out and my left eye felt relieved..but still burning...and they stayed bloodshot through the next day too..so that's how i thought i had pinkeye..but later learned it was most likely an infection...so i call my general doctor that weekend and she tells me to flush my eye out with natural tears..since she can't assume it's pinkeye and prescribe me medication until she sees me...

so the natural tears seemed to work for me...the bloodshotty eye goes away..no more burning..i change to a new pair of contacts..but for some reason..every weekend after that my left eye would always feel weird with my contacts on..my eyesight was a little blurry and i'd still get the bloodshot eye that night and to the next day..so last weekend i google my symptoms and freak out about what conditions i may have..ha, so i see the optometrist this past monday and here are my results:

i have a mild case (on a scale of 1-4, the doc says i'm a 0.5) of episcleritis...there isn't a known cause as to why this occurs..but this is what's causing the bloodshotty left eye..i have a inflammation in the lower inner corner of my left eye and dead something in eye..forgot what she said..so she prescribed me some eyedrops that have steroids!! and a stronger version of the natural tears to flush out my eye...so i'm to do this for a week..and i'll see her again this monday and hopefully things are okay..that means i have to wear my glasses during our softball game??!! ahhh...and as much as i hated getting contacts before..i hope this doesn't affect my future contacts usage..cuz that would suck...

so moral of the story my friends? 2 week disposables DO NOT equal 7 weekends..haha yah i'm a freaking genius i know...booooooooooooooooooo..i just hope things turn out okay in the end though...*sigh*...

anyways..i just heard that a fellow anteater got recruited to join the lakers training camp! woohoo good for him...zotzot

(dude..it took me 3 times to post this sucker!!..ahhhhhhhhhhh)

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
-Arnold Bennett

so plans fell through about watching the colts vs. the niners this weekend..it's okay..you figure..if we're going to be spending so much to go up north..maybe we should use that same amount and fly to indy!..haha so that's what we're gonna try to do..watch the indy vs. chargers game in december..let's just hope we can still get some decent seats..yay at least i get to wear my indy santa hat..hehe

and then going in december would help me save up extra cash for my savings anyways..always a good thing..which is what i keep telling myself about moving out..i mean..i've been waiting for so looooooong to move out..and here is the perfect opportunity..cici needs a new roomie..we could find a cheaper place if we move in together..i get to finally be on my own..i'm really excited about that too..it's just in the back of my mind i'll always be thinking..man, are mom & dad mad at me for moving out? i can just hear my mom's voice in the back of my head saying "why do you have to spend money to live somewhere else, just stay here and save the money? you and you're dad carpool anyway..." or my dad's response when i told him i want to be independent before i settle down.."oh, that's just the american way of thinking"..i don't really take much to what my dad said though..ha, not to be mean..but i know he gets like that when he's kinda sad..but dude..i've been at home for more than 3 years now!..our original agreement was to be at home at least one year..2 max, to stay at home til my little sister finishes hs..and here i am..going on my 4th year at home..

gosh i feel like such a whiner..it's always nice to come home..but after being given 5 years of freedom and independence..it's hard to adjust back to pre-college life y'know?..and i know i know, i could be saving more money for a house..but i'm thinking that just the experience of having that freedom again would be so worth it!..i'd get home faster..have more time to do things..i get to COOK!!!..more time to study for that icky test..hahah..see?..gosh it's like a weigh scale up in my head (haha don't worry cici, for sure i'm moving out with you!)...i'm just starting to feel the guilt of leaving my parents..it's hard when they start to depend on you..and i know with this whole "i'm moving out" thing..my parents haven't really been harping on me to help them with stuff..not sure if it's just coincidence..or cuz that's their silent way of telling me to stay home..hahah..geez i overanalyze!

in a way though..i'd like to think that living away from home would make the relationship with my parents better..haha compared to all the complaining i do about them now..i don't want to be dreading going home..kinda like how i am now...sad huh?..damn i talk to much about this..

let's see...funny story...last week i was eating lunch and there were these 4 guys at the table across from us..and the restaurant started to play "a whole new world"..hahah and at the part where aladdin sings "don't you dare close your eyes"..one of the guy's at that table starts singing that line out of the blue..i looked up and he was totally singing to his 3 other coworkers..haha i dunno was pretty funny..guess you had to be there=P

oh and thanx to all those who text/called/blogged if we were okay b/c of the fires..i'm glad to say things are good..thankful to the firefighters for all they did..thankful for the family & friends watching out for us..and for the weather not getting to windy out there...i like fires in a bonfire/campfire to roast some s'mores..that's all..

one more thing..hehe...my coworker showed this to me..here's some riddles/puzzles..only if you have the time..some of them take some time and googling=P...click on "begin"...and sometimes they list hints in the top left corner above the toolbar (like where the mozilla or internet explorer icon is)...and also in the white little box above the next puzzle...enjoy..i'm at round 7...but i got some hints from coworkers...

This is the foundation of all. We are not to imagine or suppose, but to discover , what nature does or may be made to do.
-Francis Bacon

it took me a little over 3 hours to get home last night..from the 101 to sidestreets to the 101..passing by the topanga canyon exit i saw a little reddish color at the corner of my eye..i glanced over and there you see it..the flames lining the mountains & hills...kinda freaked me out..and then i thought..mother nature, you really can be scary.

and so it's a new day..this morning i wake up to a voice on a bullhorn..at first i thought it was just my parents watching the news downstairs..but when i got up, their lights were still off downstairs...so i open my window to hear the police sirens..here the officer over the bullhorn telling people to evacuate..i run to the other room to turn on the news..and they announce that we should be evacuating too...after debate w/ the parentals..well you can see i lost..cuz here i am at work..what to do what to do..it was weird too..on the way to the freeway we passed by the gas station i usually fill up at..normally when we leave at this time it's empty..this morning..it was packed!..geez i don't know what to do.

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way.
-Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

you know..if you ever listerine after a meal..don't chew a piece of gum afterwards..the strong aftertaste of the listerine just diminishes all flavor of the gum so it feels like the gum is useless..bah..oh well..yay hump day...half way til the weekend..haha..grrreat..hmm actually i'm not even sure i'm looking forward to this weekend..i have to work on saturday..ehhhh..and hopefully i can make it to practice on sunday..man, i've realized..that out of all the sports i've ever played, softball was not my favorite..haha..i mean, i like batting..but get me to catch a flyball and that's a whole other story..either i underestimate or overestimate it and i end up running to catch the ball..boo..and grounders..ha, another monster to tackle..i swear i think i have this phobia of grounders that come near sprinklers in the lawn..i remember one that i was running towards and it freaking hit the sprinkler and instead of bouncing into my mitt..bounced onto my shin instead..leaving me with this nasty huuuuuuuuuuuge purple bruise..ouch i shudder! hehe..

besides practice..i have to start my marathon training again..i did the nike run hit wonder with jay & cicely..haha sucks that they made the 10k and 5k people split like right after crossing the start line..it was literally like..crossing the line..then "bye cicely, bye jay..have fun at your concert!"..haha..so i finally was able to get my results..a chiptime of 01:04:10, pace 10:19.9..hmm and that's just for 6. 2 miles..i wonder if i can improve from last year and hold on to that pace for 20 more miles?..hehe..cuz i know for the marathon i was good at the halfway mark..had about the same pace..then it just increased and by the end i was at an average of a little over 12 minutes/mile..boo..oh well..at least i finished under my goal time..hahah by one minute!..so the next time (hoping that my knees don't give out by then!!)..i'm going for that 10 minute mile pace..yah yah, i should be running faster right?..dude, it's hard!..i need a bit more training for that..=P

gosh..i didn't realize how busy the months still are..i thought things would cool off in september..but all the things that have been postponed for after september are taking up all future weekends..me & boyfriend still have to do our barnstorming thing..go to the san diego zoo..try to watch the colts game next week versus the 49ers...might be going to a baptism in a few weeks..lots to do..woohoo..oh yah and so this little birdie is FINALLY leaving its nest!..yup, imma trying to move out..hmm, now if me & cicely could only find a nice apartment like the ones in irvine..but situated in the l.a. area and fitting our budget needs..so far..it's been hard!..but if we can find one by next month..yay i'll be in a new place before i turn 26..haha, so technically i'll have been on my own at age 25?..hehe..and no i haven't given up on the idea of buying a house..it's just being postponed til early next year, hoping that the tustin homes can become more affordable...please..please??!!!

man..there's just too many things i want to do before i'm 30..i have a little over 4 years to still travel (he, i'm not going to stop traveling at 30..i just have a list of for sure places i want to see before i'm 30!!)..i'm shooting for japan 2006..maybe in october (cuz i remember anne marie said the fall looks pretty) and europe may 2007..maybe a little tahiti or hawaii action next memorial weekend?..hahah i'm thinking hawaii..cuz i'll be broke for japan if i do tahiti..we'll see..but for reals..that's the goal..gosh..how am i suppose to be saving for a house when my mind keeps looking for more things to do?..i need some self-control..haha!..better start increasing my automatic withdrawals into my savings...so that as long as i don't see the money..then i can't spend it!...

i think my new guilty pleasure is watching kitchen confidential..c'mon..food..comedy..food..what more can you ask for?=)

okay, just want to say a prayer for lou's lola, i hope she's feeling better!!!

He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
-Chinese Proverb

haha duuuuuuude how could i forget this fun fun highlight from the wedding:

-riding in the limo on the way to the reception..when what song starts playing on the radio? kelly clarkson's "since you been gone"..hahha..and what do we do?..we blast that sucker and start singing to the song a la laguna beach style..hahahha...sooooooooo funny cuz even some of the guys were singing!..i guess it helped that we were warming up our singing voices with champagne=)

-and note to self..do not workout the legs and abs the night before if you haven't done that workout in a while.. b/c you'll just be all sore the day of the wedding=)..haha i learned the hard way..

anyways..what's up with this crazy weather?..kinda crazy seeing thunder and lightning on the drive to work..scary yet a beautiful site at the same time..wish i had my camera with me..but i heard that one of my co-workers gf's spun out on her way to work..so i'll say a prayer for her, hope she's okay!..that's sooooo scary..that's one thing that i'm always scared of when it rains..boo don't want to think of that right now..

so i haven't heard any news of being sent to texas to volunteer...since i guess i'll be free this weekend, i was able to sign up for the nike run hit wonder..woohoo fun..but dude, i haven't ran 6 miles in a while..i've only done my puny 2-3-4 miles..grrrreat..i think i better run tonight and thursday to get my blood pumping and to warm up my muscles..would hate to have side stitches on saturday...hehe on the registration form it asked if i had any requests for bands i'd like to see playing at future run hit wonders..i put save ferris=)..they're cool..could you imagine running your heart out..needing a little pick me up to get you to the finish line..and you hear them start singing they're SPAM song?

[chorus:]
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam

Now when I was a child
My family was so poor
They didn't have the finer things in life to eat
So we had a plan
In a big blue can
The government substitute for meat

[repeat chorus]

To get me to eat it at dinner
They said I'd grow up like Bruce Jenner
He was a winner that never knew defeat
And when he got hungry
When he got hungry
He cracked open that special treat
It was

[repeat chorus]

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again

S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again and again

So go and forget your O-S-C-A-R
There's one meat by-product that's best by far
It's

[repeat chorus]

haha that'd be funny..actually all they're songs are nice to listen too..."the world is new" "come on eileen"...okay or maybe i'm just biased to their group cuz me and boyfriend watched them at house of blues..hehe kind of our pseudo first date..but of course i thought we were "just friends" like all other girls do..hahah...so yah, i hope they play next year..c'mon let it happen..then i'll believe in the system!...just like when you board your plane..let's say..to chicago..and they seat you according to your boarding group, either A, B, or C..and if you're A..you get to board first!..cool huh?..yah well i thought it was!..and so i believed in the system..ha!

In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
-Erich Fromm

First off, I'd like to congratulate the newly wed couple...my cousin ryan boy and his new wife rica!!! yay congratulations you two, finally!! ha=P..thanks for letting me be a part of your "special day"..aww the wedding was fun..always fun when the family gets together..even more fun when you have an open bar available..hahah...and i was so ghetto with it..since the bridal party was getting stuff all ready for the reception..me and my cousin didn't have much bar time..hehe so i kept going to the bartender to order drinks..then place them at the head table for us to drink later..heheh...yah yah...ghetto..but worth it=)..some highlights to remember:

1) When the priest (who was so strict about us talking/having cell phones/pagers in the church) who was about to have the bride and groom say their vows, FORGOT to turn off his cell phone..and it went off during the ceremony!..hahah

2) Ate Rachel's toast to the bride..hahah ending with her downing a beer in this huge margarita glass..

3) Icy-ice playing "paperboy" as our intro and later in the night..hhehehe i love that song!!

4) seeing boyfriend down like a zillion 7 & 7's...only to be rewarded later...hahah watching him all faded doing some windmills and turtle floats on the dance floor...not to mention his bobby brown move...basically rockin' the dance floor=P...geez i need to learn some new dance moves to keep up with him!! haha

5) watching my dad try to dance the todo-todo

6) hehe seeing little sister all dolled up and purdy in her pixie dress=P

7) getting to do some swing!

8) seeing the bride do her bootie shaking dance for the groom..hahah

yah there's more..but then my list would be forever!!!...basically all good times..good fun..good memories...have a great honeymoon you two!

so i was trying to blog like at least 3 times last friday..and everytime i tried to create a new post..my browser would close saying there was an error..i kinda freaked cuz i thought that big brother was restricting my web abilities=P..but i guess it was just on friday..cuz i'm blogging today!..phew!

...so i was never really a gambler..actually i'm still not..which is why i need to remember not to bet on games and give in to peer pressure!..hahha...but it does make it a little more exciting to watch a game when you have some $$ riding on it!...too bad we didn't win..blah!..don't worry joe..i have your $20 stored in my wallet so that i won't spend it!=)

man..i need to adjust back into the working life..i've had such short work weeks ever since chicago..and i haven't been able to adjust yet..boo and i still don't want too!..man..weekend weekend..where are you?

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
-Victor Borge

ahhhh finally a bit of free time..been 2 days of trying to catch up to work i've missed..so today i'll take a little break=P...gosh..what can i say about chicago that hasn't already been said? it's always good times..too many laughs to write..but i know they'll always be remembered..*sigh*..another vacation anyone?..i nominate kel & jenn to start researching..heheh..gosh..i can't believe it's already been a week...funny how you start missing things the more you talk about it and the more you see pics to remind you of it all..oh well..just makes me want to look forward to more adventures=).

so with all little vacations..i've been trying to adjust back in to the normal swing of things..i got an email at work and decided to volunteer and help the red cross with the hurricane victims..now i don't know if i'll even get picked..but it's something i want to do..you keep seeing these images and you just feel like it's surreal..it's hard to imagine something like that actually happening..and if i can help in any way..i'd be happy too..boyfriend volunteered too..so hopefully we both get picked..it would be such an eye opener y'know? i'm both anxious and scared at the same time..how am i suppose to talk to the victims? i can't say "i understand" "i know what you're going through"..because i really don't..what do you say to someone who's suffered so much?..i dunno..if i get picked i'll see how it goes..for now..i just hope that the light will start to shine for them all..

so my cousin's wedding is coming up next weekend..i can already tell it's going to be a hectic week..wedding preparations...moving in my little sister to her new apartment..finding out if i'm going to help out..there's so many things we deal with everyday...and we always find a way to get through it..

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
-Muhammad Ali


man the week went by too fast...too many projects at work that had to get finished by this week...too many family issues to think about..but now it's time for some fun..CHI-TOWN here i come!..HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY BOYFRIEND!!!..hehehe louie boy will be celebrating his bday tomorrow in chicago..woohooo....bring on the good times..

short post..but i'd like to say my prayers to the families affected in hurricane katrina...

Beware the fury of a patient man.
-John Dryden


alright..so i've always considered myself a patient person..yes yes there are those times where i get annoyed when i'm at a restaurant and they seat us like over an hour later or just give us crappy service..and my patient self seems to disappear and turn into this complaining monster=P..but back to my point..so these past 2 days i've been swarmed with questions from my parents about how to attach a document to an email, how to add a bcc, how to download the attachment..where does it go??...basically the "how to" basics of emailing..and also the basics of using excel...now in the beginning i didn't mind..i was like oh okay, good they want to learn..but man..after like an hour of dealing with it at work with my dad, over the phone at work with my mom..after work when i get home..you know i can only deal with so much...i start thinking..man, it's so simple..how come you keep asking the same question?..and to make it a bit funny for me..i don't think they really trust the whole internet thing altogether..my mom was sending an email to my dad and he was like, make sure you send it twice and to both of my email addresses..and save it onto my floppy disc as well..ha!..funny...always better to be safe then sorry i guess...

so yah, i'm in my little sister's room (who also had the task of helping my mom learn excel..but weaseled out of it by telling my mom to read the tutorials and left to stay at my older sister's place...the weasel!=P)...so yah i'm in the other room..and i swear i was called to help my mom like every 5 minutes..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...and at work..my dad would call me over to his cubicle...i'd help him attach the document and mail it to my mom..walk to my cube..then my mom would call on how to open the email my dad just sent...arghh..alright i know it sounds petty..but 2 days of it started making me kookoo...then i started thinking..man, i'm being retarded and mean..i'm sure my parents needed a lot of patience when we were little kids growing up and learning..i dunno..i guess it's just weird how i have to teach my parents now..and it's with things i thought were so simple to learn..we must be spoiled these days...

my mom would talk out loud while she was typing the email..and be like.."oh, the email address just shows up" (you know your address book names..type in the first few letters and it finds the email you were going to type)..haha and she was like, "oh nevermind, i'll just type it all in MANUALLY"...even the document she was attaching..she didn't trust it..so she said..i'll just type it all MANUALLY into the email...it was so frustrating..i was like..mom, what's the point in attaching it then if you're still typing it into the email? and she got all mad at me..hahah...saying oh just let me do it my way....so it's your typical clash of the generations i guess. sorry long vent.

on a brighter note..went to my cousin's bridal shower...awww i can't believe they're getting married next month! so happy for them!..also, had dinner with chris, gail & kirun and found out that chris is getting married! woohoo congratulations to him and trish also=)..and best of all..we found the best tiramisu ever!! Magianno's..mmmm that tiramisu was yum-o! and i used to not really dig tiramisu cuz some places make it really strong with the liqueur that it takes away all the chocolate/coffee flavor..but mmmm this one was oh so yum! good choice..and duuuuude we did the family style menu...sooooooooooooo much food! i swear we probably took home all the food we ordered...haha except the tiramisu and their dessert of the night..alright no more food talk..i'm drooling=P

Learning by experience often is painful - and the more it hurts, the more you learn.
-Ralph Banks

hmm so after looking at my last 2 posts, i've noticed that i seem to be blogging on thursdays..wonder if that's a trend for me..maybe it shows that the work week is starting to slow down for me..and now i finally get a bit of time to chittychat...

so anyways..yay my powerpoint presentation that i did for work is finally over..i don't know why i always get so nervous about presentations the night before..i mean i've taken those freaking public speaking seminars they've offered here..i've done presentations in school..but i guess it's just some innate behavior in me that doesn't want to go away..i did notice today though, that i have been applying all the public speaking skills that i've learned before in today's training..yah know..getting eye contact with your audience while you speak..making sure you address everyone, not just one side of the crowd..speaking loudly..hehe at least i tried to..and speaking slowly!..something that does not come naturally for me..haha=P..but yah, glad it's over..and i hope i don't have to do another one for a while..

geez...so august seems to be flying by..not to mention busy busy weekends..lou and i were able to go to magic castle last weekend with my sister and her husband..it was my second time going, but this time we got to watch more shows..magic is always cool..heheh and it was funny watching boyfriend getting picked to go on stage to help the magician..you know what else is cool? one of my brother-in-law's (whoa weird to say that!) anyways, one of his co-workers went with us..and he's part of the magic castle's..umm i guess their magician's society? ...so he was wearing his pin on his suit which shows that you are a member right?..and the pin is an owl!..hahha just like harry potter...well not exactly..but like how they use owls in the novel..and the book has to do with magic..ahhh..y'all know what i mean yah?=)..but i thought that was pretty neato skeato...

so we checked out more housing possibities last weekend as well..only to have our vision of a new home deeply dampened by the fact that the price range for the first housings to come out are waaaaaaaaaaay too much for us to afford..blah...so we have to wait again..i think until early next year...ah well....at least we can try to save more this time around..serious though..this stuff can get so stressful sometimes..just thinking about all the added responsibilities you have to go through..all the research that has to be done..ahhhhhhhhhhh...too much of the real world for me.

i was thinking of doing this next month...thought it might be a good cause to go for..see my dad has type II and getting involved in something that might help aid in any research for diabetes is something i'd like to do..it's the day after nike's run hit wonder..and i still have to raise $$ for it as well..hehe so be on the lookout for a pleading fund email from me soon guys..bohhahahah=P
if anyone else is interested..let me know..

ooh this feels like a long one..laters yo...(hmm how come after rereading that sentence i can totally picture je-von thinking nasty thoughts=P)

True friends understand our "I-don't-feel-like-talking" moods.
-From my little daily calendar thingy=P

hahah i think that's sooooo true..well for me at least..i remember at our place in irvine..when i'd have like a crappy day and come home and go straight upstairs..i'd be in my room doing my thing...then tinz or anne marie would come in the room and be all quiet around me..which at the time i appreciated..hehe cuz i'm sure i wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone..and then i'd calm down and be all normal...but i remember one time i asked them how come they'd never say anything in the room..and they were all like.."cuz we knew you weren't in a good mood and we didn't want to get you mad"..something of the sort...ahhhhhhhhhh...roomies..hahah...and here i was thinking i was being all slick not to show them that i was in a bad mood..but i guess after living with each other for 4 years, you pick up everyone's little habits..so if i'm quiet guys and gals..it's just me needing "me" time to calm the f*** down..hahah..extreme..but yah that's me..sometimes lou still gets the mean side of me...heheh..just give me like 5 minutes and i'll be okay!=P

anyways..my dad's sick with the flu..boo..don't like seeing him sick..so i hope he gets better real soon..and with him being sick...i don't want to drive to work cuz i have no carpool lane going home..and plus gas prices are freaking nutso right now..so i took the bus twice..and today and tomorrow i'm commuting from my sister's place...gosh..whenever i'm at her place it reminds me of how much i want to move out..how much i miss having roommates..how much i'd like to just unwind after work and walk around the streets of l.a or eating at all the cool little hole in the walls that seem to always have bomb ass food...sounds a lot more fun instead of me coming home and going straight up to my room until i have to come down for work the next morning..boring eh?..i swear sometimes i just want to postpone the whole househunting thing and live on my own for like 6 months..hehe i wonder if that would satisfy this urge? but then again..just getting a place in general would make me happy=)..ahhh if it were only that simple.

anyway..busy weekend..pretty soon chicago will be just around the corner! yeeha can't wait..man i'm getting the traveling itch again too!...probably cuz chicago's coming up and also my co-worker just got back from costa rica..ahhh i miss that place...another vacation anyone??=P

Nothing happens by itself...it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it com your way, by your own exertions.
-Ben Stein

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy heading out to sac tonight to visit some of lou's family..then off to the grand old city of la grange, ca..heheh for some don pedro camping=)..man..so there was someone from ktla news who was going to do an interview over here right?..and it was just me & 3 of my other coworkers working downstairs to get everything prepared..hahah so when the news crew came..i hid in one of the cubicles to get some work done..too chicken and at the same time, not wanting to be seen on tv i guess..rather be on the d.l. with work stuff..though i think it would be funny to have come home..turned on the evening ktla news..and see me in the background..would've been my 10 seconds of fame yah know? ah well..what was funny was who the chick doing the interview was..everyone who watches real world should know..remember the asian chick janet from seattle? the one with the husky voice cuz she always smoked? yup, it was her doing the interview..pretty cool eh?..yah and when my coworker "casually" asked if she happened to be on real world..she acted like it was the most terrible thing she ever did..ah well..good to know these people can move on with their lives..speaking of real world..anyone watch days of our lives?=)...well yah..one of the guys from the chicago cast is on there..cracks me up when i see him..

true to the saying..with every upside there is a downside..and vice versa...so things are seeming to turn to the upside again..well with all past issues concerning..so that's always good..i hate when things are full of tension and stuff..not that i think we've all grown past the issues..its more of..we're all looking ahead..and i'm sure this stuff will come up again like it always does..gotta love the family right?..gets through all this junk through thick and thin..it's always like a roller coaster with me & mom..and i slowly learn..and grudgingly so..that i just have to accept things the way they are..ahhh..the joys of being an adult.

anyways..i can't believe it's already august..how do the days move so fast? pretty soon i'm going to be blogging about how i can't believe it's already christmas!..crazy..talagang crazy..haha..i remember when we used to always say that back at uci..such fobs we were=P..

happy early birthday to mi madre..wish you only the best.

Remember always that you are the miracle someone else was praying for.
-Unknown

c'mon thursday already!..no work on friday woohoo..taking the day off to go camping with all of lou's familia up north at don pedro lake. pretty excited seeing as how i haven't gone camping in over a year..too bad our "yearly" camping trip with the buddies didn't happen this summer..gotta remember to book at least 6 months in advance next time..hahah but yah know we all lag=P. i wonder if i can get in any trail running while we're up there..hopefully it's not too hot...oh crap nevermind..just saw the weather..full of highs of 98 to lows of 61..maaaaaaaan!

speaking of running..i'm in a rut right now..haha..well i still try to get in at least 2 days of runs..but man..i get so lazy..it's basically more cardio on the stationary bike and weight training..hehe and that fun little 15 minute cardio workout i told cici about ( 3 sets of the following: 2 minutes of jumping jacks, 2 minutes of knee high running in place, 1 minute of squats while doing calf raises in that position)..dude after doing that a couple of times already you'd think i wouldn't sweat so much..but i become a sweat fountain after just doing the jumping jacks!!

so anyways..i was trying to make it a point to do the l.a. marathon for at least 5 years straight..but seeing as how i didn't pass my test last april=(..and i'm not taking it this october b/c i don't have the weekends free for classes/the long study days...i've been debating now if i should still run the marathon next march, since i'm planning to take the test again in april..cuz the marathon training really took a lot of my study time away..not to mention helping out with ate's wedding stuff..so now i don't know if i have the time to do both marathon and test..hehe i told lou that i just wouldn't really train for the marathon like i did this year..he thinks that a NO-NO..hehe..so then i was thinking..maybe i should do the OC marathon that's in january..that should give me at least 3 free months to just study..but aww..doesn't look like the OC one would be as exciting as L.A.'s...plus, last year it rained during the orange county one..ehhhh what to do..i'm so confused..

so it was my cousin's fiance's bachelorette party this past weekend..well i already call rica my cousin..so yah..vegas..good times..sapphire good times...d-love..mmm mmm mmm..monte carlo cafe..yum..mgm service? blah! it would have been soooooooooo cool if we didn't have to deal with the crappy cabana service and our rooms not ready..retarded peoples..so yah i had lots of fun though..it was one of those trips where you swear off of alcholol afterwards..hahah..sure, like i did after my 21st bday..and again on new years..and again this past weekend..dude that jager bomb and chocolate cake really hit hard..dangit cici for introducing me to chocolate cake! hehe..ahhhh..anyways, can't wait for the wedding in september!! so happy for them.

prayers to andre and daisy..you two stay strong, i'm happy alayzia is surrounded by so much love.

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow."
-Unknown

glad to know it's friday..only 30 more minutes to go and it's yabba dabba dooooooooooo...sad to know that with all the training seminars this past week..i am quite behind on my work load that seems to magically keep getting bigger..and i'm not finished with my powerpoint presentation for next thursday..grrreat..ah well..it's the weekend and it's time to unwind y'all.

so i was flipping through the stations on the way to work trying to find a good talk radio to hear..kevin and bean were away on a commercial..charlie tuna hasn't been keeping my ears cuz i've been so annoyed hearing..the new k-b-i-g like in every other sentence..and i happened upon big boy and the neighborhood..who to my surprise were talking to gwen stefani..which gets me to the whole point of this story..hehe..is it wrong of me to still feel the urge to bob my head to "hollaback girl?"..hahah when i need a little encouragement in the dragging work day, i play this song and my head just keeps bobbing..i like the intro beats to the song..and the songs been out for so long already..but it still keeps me up...hehe so yah..sum it up..i like gwen stefani..pretty cool cat

Uh huh, this is my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this ...

...Let me hear you say this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

hahah see? who couldn't love those lyrics?=P..anyways..i've got a bachelorette party for my cousin in vegas tomorrow night..hmmm so the cliche goes..what happens in vegas stays in vegas right?..haha..hope i'm not too tired from the drive though..ahhhh that's what i got gwen for..to pump up my mood and get me into a groove to partay=).

ahhhhhhhhhh i have no thoughts in my head..just the ringing noise saying "i want to go home now"..so i shall pack up my stuff...and vamanos..actually am i spelling that right? i saw a bilboard from southwest that spelled it vamonos..hmm i always thought it was anos not onos..dang i need to improve my spanish skills.

In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
-Erich Fromm

yay so me & louie boy had our 4 year anniversary last monday..heheh happy happy 4 year again. man i can't believe how time flies..i can still remember our 4th year at uci when we were pcn partners and doing the whole "is he/she into me" deal..hahah..awww..memories..*sigh* and now look..4 years later and he can still put up with my weirdoness..yahoo for me..ha=P..i heart you l.r.l.

bleh ehh yuck mush i'll stop=P...so yah..for the past 2 weekends now we've been trying to go here, yet because of the weird freakish weather we've been having lately..we've had to reschedule yet again b/c it'd be pointless to go if we can't get a nice view of the beach y'know? so yah..and with our crazy weekends ahead of us..it doesn't look like it'll be happening for awhile=(..ah well..at least we got to spend some qt time in carlsbad and explore the area..pretty little beach community..and the outlets over there made the disappointment in not being to go flying, a bit better..haha...who knows..maybe the third time's a charm..i hope so.

alright, to make boyfriend happy..for all the corniness this is worth..here goes:

1. If you were a ninja, what would your ninja name be and what would you do now that you're a ninja?
just call me rikku-chaaaaaaaan and i'd make an anime after me..haha

2. Do something completely unexpected and random like Natalie Portman's character in Garden State and describe what you just did.

yah so i'm at work right now..and the best i can come up with without causing a scene is rolling my eyes, bobbing my head from side to side and spitting out my tongue..in the hopes that no one just passed by and saw me=P

3. Name 3 of your favorite toys growing up as a kid.

uno) my pink & blue big wheels 3 wheeler with little ribbons hanging from the handle bars
dos) the chalkboard/pegboard/blackboard desk my parents got me=)
tres) my barbie dolls..although i was told that i totally jacked them up by cutting their hair/drawing all over them..you know..the usual little girlie stuff..

4. What's something obscure you learned in school that you somehow still remember?

in the 5th grade, out of dumb luck i finally learned that arkansas is pronounce ar-kan-saw..not ar-kan-sas

5. You wake up one morning and find out you're a princess. Who would be your prince and how would you rule over your people?

well duh..boyfriend would be the prince..and uhhh we'd rule like how king arthur did in first knight..for the people yah?


6. Which song do you think is the best "feel-good" song in the history of mankind?

james brown's "i feel good" tah nuh nah nah nuh..i dunno, that's the first song that popped in my head..somehow though lou's love for the transformers "you got the touch, you got the pooooower" is creeping up in my head now


7. If you had the option to live the rest of your life in a constant orgasm...would you take it?

i doubt it, then i wouldn't be able to move..hahha..hmmm what a feeling that would be though


8. Osama bin Laden has been captured by the Marines and they turned him over to you to get some answers out of him. What methods of torture would you use?

uhhh i have no idea...let me ask tommy about that one=)


9. Complete this sentence: "Yo mama so ____, she _______!"

"Yo mama's so fat, when she plays hop scotch, she jumps from city to city...l.a, chicago, new york!"


10. What is the most touching/memorable moment of your life?

the day my boyfriend decided to make his own questionnaire and shared it with me=)..awww..haha and everyone else..

yah i'm weird..but aren't we all in our own unique way?=)

maaaaaaaaaaaan only cuz i'm about to get a food coma and need to stay awake..hahah i'm lazy with this stuff..

maaaaaaaaaaaan only cuz i'm about to get a food coma and need to stay awake..hahah i'm lazy with this stuff..

tag post from cicely & jay (how ironic=P)

01. If you woke up tomorrow morning and you were the opposite gender, what would be the first thing you'd do?
set up a camera for the next morning so that i can see when and how a guy can actually get morning "wood" every day!..haha that is still so weird to me..and i guess..get off so that i can feel what a guys orgasm would be like?

02. If you could be invisible for a whole day, what would you do?
whisper behind people's ears "wooooo, woooo, wooo" hahah like the amelie guy did.

03. If you could completely get rid of one fashion trend that you personally don't like, what would it be?
when you see someone wearing nice sandals with freaking white socks!!

04. If you could dye your hair ANY color, what color would you choose?
black hair with some blue streaks..

05. If you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose and why?
ms. jessica alba of course or vanessa minillo..they're hot

06. If you could spend one hour with ANYONE, (alive or dead) who would it be, and why?
my nanay on my mom's side, she passed away before i was born so i want to know what kind of person she was like.

07. If you won a million dollars in the lottery, what would you do with the money?
pay off any debt that my parents/sisters/i have..then retire my parents in the p.i. like they want..and if there's anything left over...travelllllllllll!

08. If you could tell one person ANYTHING, what would it be, and who would it be?
the inventor of the french fry..i'd say, "mr. fry, you are a freaking genius!"

09. If you saw your favorite celebrity in the street, what would be your first reaction?
"how you like dem daaaaags? huh what you can't understand what i'm saying brad? haha, yah i couldn't understand what you were saying in snatch either except for that one line. but you're still freaking sexxay!"

10. If you could change your first name to anything you wanted, what would you change it to?
umm my name's fine..it changes on it's own anyways...chris..belle..or the full name

11. What's one feature of your appearance that you absolutely like?
my big 'ol butt..haha

12. If you were told today that you had only a month to live, what would be all the things you would do, or say before you died?
i'd probably just hang out with my family & friends as much as i could..maybe travel a bit..do the same as always..probably with more appreciation this time.

13. If you could change any part of your appearance, what would it be?
my ears! i think they're uneven.

14. If you had your own line of cosmetics, what would you call it, and what kind of products would you make?
i'd call it belley-cream, haha get it? and it'd get rid of those belly rolls of course!

15. If you had your own line of underwear, how would you design it?
it'd form right to the exact curve to your body frame..once the material touches your body it instantly form fits itself, thus preventing any bunching up from undies that are too big in the buttocks area or riding up from being too tight.

16. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
to fly like superman

17. If you had the choice would you rather be Marilyn Monroe for a day, or Madonna?
madonna..cuz i used to sing all her songs back in the day.

18. Do you believe your dreams have significance?
sometimes..i think it's more of what we think about before we fall asleep and it just morphs into a story of it's own

19. Total number of films I own on DVD/video:
not sure

20. The last film I bought:
i think starwars episodes 4-6

21. Last film I watched at home:
fist of legend

22. 6 films I watch a lot or mean a lot to me:
amelie, breakfast club, lost in translation, eternal sunshine, beauty and the beast & sleepless in seattle

23. Tag 5 people and have them answer these questions on their blog:
i think almost everyone's done it..well i haven't seen it on kel, cat, johnjohn, jon or ryan's yet...so i'll try them=)

"Love builds bridges where there are none."
-R. H. Delaney

man, lately when i've been copying and pasting a quote it makes my font all tiny..i've been trying to fix it..and since i'm too lazy to troubleshoot this minor problem, i've taken the easy way out..haha copy and pasting text from my old entries to use that font..so here we are..back to normal..hehe ghetto fabulous i know..oh well it does the job right?

so i know i don't get all cheesy or mushy about my family..but i love my dad..hhahah weird to write that..he knew i was all ehhh about the events that had happened on tuesday..so on the drive home yesterday he somehow knew all the right words to say to make me feel better..which to anyone who knows my dad is a total shocker..haha cuz my dad's such a goofball and can say the most buttered of corny comments..but yesterday it was nice talking to him...made me realize that that's just how things go and we have to learn to deal with it..no matter how much it bothers us..don't let your emotions get in the way of what you really want to say..then things can get ugly..so yah..all in all..things are moving to the upside..yay..it sucks being in a funk mood..and lucky that i have my crazy sisters to cheer the day as well..gotta love the familia=)

yesssssssssssssssss almost time to go home and it's fridayyyyyyyyyyy tomorrow!