post for 4/21/04:

Come to the edge
He said. They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge
He said. They came.
He pushed them, and
they flew...
-Guillaume Apollinaire

ahhhhhh it's finally freaking over!!..every 2 weeks one of us entry-level people have to hold a training session for everyone else..and today was mine..and with my luck i ended up getting the most confusing topic to talk about..so for the past month i've been trying to totally understand the subject..sooo hard!..and today my training came..for those of you who know me..you know i absolutely HATE public speaking..i mean i've even taken seminars here at work for public speaking..and i did just fine in front of these strangers..but put me in a room full of people i see on a daily basis and i freak out..dude..15 minutes before i had to go my heart was pounding, my palms were getting clammy & i kept having to use the bathroom..and then 9 o'clock came around..it was time..so after about an hour and a half of talking nonsense..it was all over=)..yay i'm done..i was scared that i'd be talking all speedy on them & my voice would be shaky..but that only lasted for about uhhh..the first 5 minutes..hehehe...so i'm just glad i'm done..it totally felt like senior project in civil all over again..and now the anxiety is over..phew!...i swear public speaking must be one of my greatest fears..that and snakes & rats..yuck!

heheh so this week i've been doing the treadmill at the gym to try and increase my endurance..see i'm trying to do the half marathon in pv...cuz if i do the half-marathon i'll get a medal=P...plus i think it's to raise money for their ymca and kiwanis clubs?...so yah, this week has been focused on the treadmll..and what's funny is that after about a half hour of it..right when i step off, it feels like i'm still moving..like when i was walking to the water fountain i felt like i was on those sliding escalator things..i was like.."hmm..i feel like jamiroquai" (sp)..hahahah..so hopefully i'll be in good enough shape to even register for the marathon..it sounds fun..but gosh..13 miles..how will i ever be able to even do 26.2 for the l.a. marathon???...