The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-W. M. Lewis

hmm..so i have this dilemma right?..after i graduated, i was suppose to stay in irvine and work in irvine..then this job in l.a. pops up...and i hear from everyone that it's the better choice..so fine..i pick the l.a. job and choose to still want to live in irvine..but then my parents ask me if i could just move home until my little sister graduates hs so that she has someone in the house w/ her..i think it's because me and my older sister were always there at home for each other since we're not so far apart in age..but w/ my little sister, she's 11 years younger than ate and 7 years younger than me..so there's this huge age gap and she was alone at the house w/ my parents while we were out in school..so my parents wanted her to at least have one of us there to be with her while she goes through hs..so after much arguing and stress..i agree and i let my selfishness go..it would be good if i was home with her and it turns out..that i'm glad i got to be home while charv was in school..so 2 years pass..and it's not so bad living at home..

but then my sister graduated like 2 weeks ago..and i know she's still at home til september..but it's kicking in now that when she leaves i'm going to be alone..not that my parents won't be there..but it's different talking to your parents compared to having one of your siblings around..i guess i wouldn't mind living at home by myself so much if i lived in a more urban area..but hel-looo..hahah agoura hills? i'm soooo far from everything=(..i can barely go out on weeknights if there were any happy hours going on at work or with the irvine peoples...cuz i live so far..too much of a hassle..and the commute i have is so draining..i thought i wouldn't move out until i save enough to buy a condo or something..but i know that won't be for like another 5 years..i had this talk w/ boyfriend..the pros and cons of moving out..the big con would be that if i left my parents would be alone in the house..and i'd feel really bad about that..i mean, they've been by themselves before when me & ate were in college and charv was in school at vegas..but since they're getting older i just feel bad..i dunno..and the main pro that got me is that..i'm still young..this is the time in my life where i can do so much with it..and if it means having to pay rent instead of saving for something..then it'd be worth it..because i'd finally be able to "live my life"..corny as it sounds..it made sense..i mean..i keep telling myself..oh i'll take cooking/photo classes once i move out..i'll do this..i'll do that..when i move out..but when the freak is that going to happen if i keep thinking that it's better to buy a place then rent..so yah..that's my dilemma..move out..or stay at home and try to save...ahhhhhhh!!

too much to think about..can't wait for the weekend..father's day..beach..anime!!yeeha!