FOOTPRINTS


One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from His life.
For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.
One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him,
He looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of His life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened
at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him
and He questioned the LORD about it.
LORD you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child,
I Love you and I would never leave you!
During your times of trial and suffering
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.

Carolyn Carty, 1963


this has to be one of my favorite poems, alongside "the road not taken". when i was looking it up to copy, i found out that there were three versions created. weird huh? i wonder if they just modified the previous one. i dunno. oh yah, happy belated easter and happy belated birthday to kellyjean and my cousin ryanboy=P!

so i was at holy thursday mass and i reflected a lot that night..i haven't been the greatest practicing catholic this year. i am sad to admit that. but i guess a lot of stuff has happened that got me to really question my faith. sounds terrible doesn't it? it's so selfish of me to say to God "why would you make people suffer like that?" "how could you let that happen?"..but in a helpless situation, that was my reaction. during the mass, i was getting angry at God for all the bad that has ever happened. then i felt guilty for having such a negative attitude and i tried to remember to keep my faith, knowing that He will always be watching over me and guiding me. but sometimes it's just so hard for me.

geez i feel so bad right now. it's such a crappy feeling to have so many things bottled up inside of you and then to blame the one person I know who always watches over me and forgives me for my stupid mistakes. i think i need to grow more in faith. i need to have a better understanding of things. i remember during our kairos retreat senior year in high school, one of the topics was how some people view God. One of the choices was a Santa Claus God, one you always turn to when you want something. I know as a little kid I would always pray for things i wanted..like the new toy, the new clothes, material things like that. Nowadays, it's more of a prayer to God to guide me in the right direction. Is that still being selfish of me? I don't know.

Whew, too serious of a blog for me..tomorrow i'll go back to normal..reminders on: paintballing, snowboarding, dinner with the girls, boyfriend's cool camera, and so on..adios.