If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
-Maya Angelou

i think that's been me lately. always complaining about work blah blah yadda yadda. i know fifi must be tired of it all. so i'm trying to change it up a bit. if it'll work, who knows. at least i tried right? otherwise i'll be stuck in a rut for i don't know how long. it's one of those things where you just dread coming in to work. like really..where you just want to call in sick or use your vacation time so that you don't have to deal with it all anymore. is it burnout? i dunno. i read some article about it last week and i agreed with a lot of the causes/effects. i know i need a change. we'll see how it goes.

a few weeks ago a bunch of us ce's had like a mini reunion for happy hour. so we all got the typical how are you/how's work? intro when we started our conversations. you know what the consensus was with the how's work? that we all must've chosen the wrong major because we either want out of our job or we've already moved on to non-engineering prospects. ha, it was like an epiphany..no wonder our class was so close..none of us were meant to be engineers! yeah we passed our classes, had our study groups together, drank at the pub on numerous occassions. but i wonder if any of us really enjoy what we're doing or we're just bored? while i was getting a recommendation to read "who stole my cheese" to help me get out of this yuck feeling about work, i started laughing because obviously reading "the quarter-life crisis" didn't help me out. ha.

i guess we all go through this at some point in our life? i have no idea what'll happen over the next few years. i just hope the decisions i'm making will of course be for the better. i really don't like the burnout feeling. it just makes things so unbearable sometimes.

anyways..i told louieboy that i'm done lifting weights to strengthen my back. ahhhh i so didn't think that it would give me muscles in my back! man, i feel like my back got a little wider..boo no bueno!

thanks everyone for all the kind words/condolences about my lolo passing away. it's weird i guess. this whole coping with death thing. i mean i understand it all, but for some reason i just get in denial that he passed away. and when i think how i just saw him for his birthday before he passed away i get all sad. even yesterday, i've been re-watching friends on the train ride going home right? of course the episode is "the one where nana dies...twice." there's this one part w/ the sweet 'n low and ross...and i just start getting all teary eyed and start crying. i guess it's a normal cycle of dealing with this all. i'm just not used to it. but it's okay, i really should stop this crying. i know lolo's not in pain anymore and he's with lola and nanay and tatay (what we call my my mom's parents) and their all watching over us and smiling=).

phew that's a lot.