The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-W. M. Lewis

hmm..so i have this dilemma right?..after i graduated, i was suppose to stay in irvine and work in irvine..then this job in l.a. pops up...and i hear from everyone that it's the better choice..so fine..i pick the l.a. job and choose to still want to live in irvine..but then my parents ask me if i could just move home until my little sister graduates hs so that she has someone in the house w/ her..i think it's because me and my older sister were always there at home for each other since we're not so far apart in age..but w/ my little sister, she's 11 years younger than ate and 7 years younger than me..so there's this huge age gap and she was alone at the house w/ my parents while we were out in school..so my parents wanted her to at least have one of us there to be with her while she goes through hs..so after much arguing and stress..i agree and i let my selfishness go..it would be good if i was home with her and it turns out..that i'm glad i got to be home while charv was in school..so 2 years pass..and it's not so bad living at home..

but then my sister graduated like 2 weeks ago..and i know she's still at home til september..but it's kicking in now that when she leaves i'm going to be alone..not that my parents won't be there..but it's different talking to your parents compared to having one of your siblings around..i guess i wouldn't mind living at home by myself so much if i lived in a more urban area..but hel-looo..hahah agoura hills? i'm soooo far from everything=(..i can barely go out on weeknights if there were any happy hours going on at work or with the irvine peoples...cuz i live so far..too much of a hassle..and the commute i have is so draining..i thought i wouldn't move out until i save enough to buy a condo or something..but i know that won't be for like another 5 years..i had this talk w/ boyfriend..the pros and cons of moving out..the big con would be that if i left my parents would be alone in the house..and i'd feel really bad about that..i mean, they've been by themselves before when me & ate were in college and charv was in school at vegas..but since they're getting older i just feel bad..i dunno..and the main pro that got me is that..i'm still young..this is the time in my life where i can do so much with it..and if it means having to pay rent instead of saving for something..then it'd be worth it..because i'd finally be able to "live my life"..corny as it sounds..it made sense..i mean..i keep telling myself..oh i'll take cooking/photo classes once i move out..i'll do this..i'll do that..when i move out..but when the freak is that going to happen if i keep thinking that it's better to buy a place then rent..so yah..that's my dilemma..move out..or stay at home and try to save...ahhhhhhh!!

too much to think about..can't wait for the weekend..father's day..beach..anime!!yeeha!

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
-Frank Herbert

it's funny how it's the little things that we tend to take for granted..yet when it's missing, it can change things instantly..i try to not take things for granted..i'd like to hope that i think clearly in most situations..but no one's ever perfect..dude, i know i'm not..ha!..it's weird how things can snap you into reality faster than you thought possible..i know i'm not making much sense..my mind has been preoccupied lately and i'm just not comprehending things so easily right now..things that i've always had strong opinions about just don't seem so stable anymore..everything seems a blur right now..sorry, random i know..thanx seachell for listening to my retardedness=P.

anyways..it's time to concentrate on the lakers tonight..they need to kick detroit's arse w/ a vengeance..we've got to take this first game to crush their confidence! muahahah..geez, i talk as if it's so easy to win a game..but it's the lakers..c'mon now! gooooo lakers!!!!!

dude..i took my co-workers to roscoe's today..it was so funny..cuz they both ordered chicken & rice..hehehe..it's all about chicken & waffles..mmmmm soooo good..gosh, my mouth's watering just thinking about it again..i'm so weak sauce though..i'm ashamed to admit that i couldn't finish my 'scoes special #2..i usually stick w/ the one piece of chicken/1 waffle..but today my eyes were uber hungry man..i couldn't help it..but it was yuuuuuuuummy! i tried to eat as much as i could=P..and i decided to try their louisiana hot sauce..oh man..i gotta buy me like a 40 oz of that stuff..it was good...i mean i like the gravy itself..but i just wanted to try their hot sauce cuz i like spicy things..i bet they'd make mean buffalo wings..mmmm!

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

first and foremost...congratulations to the newly engaged couple--ate & jason..yay finally those nerdios are engaged..dude my sister and her bf have been planning their wedding before they were even engaged..it was so funny..i always had to tease them about it..and on sunday it finally happened..so yay for them=P

congratulations to my little sister on graduating hs!! woohoo..now it's off to being an anteater..zotzot baby!.hahaha..man, i'm still in shock though that she's going to be in college this fall!..i still see her as my little little sister with the cute little pigtails in her hair that loved to stick her tiny fingers up my nose to check if i was really asleep..gross i know..hahah..but yah..how time flies.

happy 25th birthday my elainamaboppers! have a grrrrrreat day and eat some yummy cake for me!=P
aloha kellyjean! good luck in hawaii..and i'll be seeing you in september so make sure our orders are ready=P..hehe..

let's see..what else is going on..i hate getting cramps..i love the harry potter series..the movie this weekend was uber cool!...i finished reading da vinci code last week-very good book..naruto is cool, thanx rex!..dave chapelle is freaking hilarious..and we just finished watching his stand-up that he did back in 2000 (killing them softly??)..that was fuuuunny yo!..ziings has really good kamikaze's..never play poker if a lakers game is on..c'mon lakers!!..i love shopping w/ good sales..thank you ae, old navy & victoria!..chocolate covered gummy bears, chocolate covered cookie dough and those sour belts are soooo good..but bad for me=P..hehe sorry ai, i bit off your white slippers! i'm still looking for the bronze ones in my size..dang!..but they are soooo cute..and man, what's up with the weather?

Assumptions allow the best in life to pass you by.
-John Sales

tun tun tun...game 1..wooohooooooooooo goooo lakers!!!..hopefully we can get to lou's in time after work to catch the whole game..exciting eh?..i don't think i can ever express how much i love fridays..i do..it signifies not only the end of the week..but the beginning of fun=P..corny i know..hehe..

so dangit..i read cecile's blog about mosquito bites..and what do yah know..that same day at work i end up getting bit twice..must've been the same mosquito!=P..so now i have a huge mound on the side of my right arm..i guess the forearm area?..but the second one is the worst..it's right at the crinkle of my middle finger..not the knuckle..but the middle part of the finger where the skin looks crinkled..that one itches like crazy..i tried to put this benadryl non-itch gel..but i swear the whole itching deal is psychological..i only think to itch the bites when i think about them..like right now..hahaha..maaaan!..dude just moving my middle finger makes me want to scratch it..and it didn't help to see on the news yesterday some quick snippet about the west nile virus and them showing a mosquito..i'm scared..is it like getting bit by a killer bee?..i should read up about it.

awww today shrek 2 comes out..shrek was lou and i's official real first movie date..hehe..so hopefully we can watch it tomorrow since we'll be preoccupied w/ the lakers tonight=)..

y'know..i hate money!..i know it makes the world go round and it may bring some people happiness..but blehhh..some people just don't know how to manage their own and just have a way of making everyone else pay for it..sucks...it just really sucks..okay i won't be bitter..i'll just be there..that's all.

so anyways..my ate told my mom the other day how i want to be a chef...hahaha and to my surprise my mom said that would be good..yah, if only it were that easy..the freaking culinary schools here cost $45,000 for the program..i think i'll just stick with jc classes when i get the time to fit them in..but ooooh how fun would that be, to actually get to be in a full-on culinary program..wishful thinking i guess..maybe i should just join cici in her quest for bartending=)..gosh, there's just no time right now for me to start anything..well i guess if i quit my job there would be..but man, that's not even an option i can give myself right now..too much to think about..i hate thinking a lot too..it's starts to hurt..ehhhhh.

The important thing to recognize is that it takes a team, and the team ought to get credit for the wins and the losses. Successes have many fathers, failures have none.
-Philip Caldwell

ahhhhh such a good weekend..my younger sister goes to prom..my older sister is able to have her wedding at the cathedral next year..happy birthday lolo!!..got to see brad pitt's arse..(not once..not twice..but maybe just a little bit more than that..mmmm sexxay!!!=P)..the lakers advance to the next round..and glen ivy topped it off..posted (yet unwanted=P) pics and details can be seen from cici's blog..you sneaky girl!!=)..we have to go again..hopefully w/ all the other chicas able to go also..cuz it was a faaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous day..we're going to miss you lots miss kellyjean!!

too bad all the massages were booked..i was so looking forward to getting a swedish massage..my back and neck are killing me..i think i've been sleeping wrong or something..hehe i think lou needs to learn the shiatsu/swedish massage techniques..hint hint boyfriend!=)...

blehhh..i'm tired..back to work=(..i'll just think of my other boyfriend brad to get me through the day..haha..

-aloha and mahalo...belle=)

For all the kids out there possibly watching this game, you dream about that growing up, being in that position and being able to make the shot.
-Derek Fisher

heheheh gooooooooooooooooooooooo lakers!!!!!!..woohoo..that was a freaking crazy game last night..all that matters is the lakers are coming home to win it on saturday!! yeeha=)..so that's the reason for the last 2 lakers quotes..it's the playoffs..gotta love it! geez..i'm still on a high about the game..

so anyway..yay it's friday..i'm taking a half day from work today so that i can help my little sister get ready for prom..my goodness..i can't believe it's already prom for her..it's so funny cuz she's such a baller..and me and my older sister were making her all girly last night in preparation for today=P..so fun!..she also turned in her statement of intent to go to UCI!!..hehe she's going to be a fellow anteater like me..when she was asking me about housing i was getting all reminiscent about the dorms..typical of me i know..too bad my dorm got torn down=(..so i told her to go for bahia, sierra & puente/loma..i couldn't decide on a 3rd choice for her..i just tried to warn her of the haunted dorms..to beware..i swear i must be more excited about her going to uci than she is..it's still so weird though to know that my little sister is going to be a freshman next year..damn..

hmm..so about 2 months ago i ordered furniture as a present for my parents' anniversary, from jennifer convertibles..please, if you ever want to buy furniture, DO NOT buy from them..not only did they delay our delivery by 2 weeks..when the furniture was finally delivered this past wednesday, one of the couches was ripped at the bottom and another was stained and ripped at the seams..they've put me through sooooo much unnecessary stress these past few weeks..they have a terrible customer service staff at the store, the district & at their corporate office..so after wednesday, we refused delivery and are suppose to get a full refund back..and i'm going to complain to the highest authority about them..it sucks to have to go through all this..and in the end i couldn't even give my parents their present=(..so we'll just start all over..so please, don't go furniture shopping at their stores..they suck!

on a happier note..me and lou got to watch the l.a. philharmonic perform at the walt disney concert hall monday night..i loooooooooooved it..the building is beautiful..the music was grand!..just being there and listening to good music was the best..oh..hehe did i mention that it was a show for the final fantasy gamers?=P..the composer of the video game made his first u.s. debut at the concert hall..so the creator, animator & musical composer of the video game were all there too..it was a big deal..but me being the non-gamer couldn't comprehend the magnitude of it all..so lou and the rest of the true gamers had a more personal appreciation of the music we heard that night..i just like good music, and Nobuo Uematsu is a musical genius! so if they ever return to the u.s. again, i highly recommend watching him..

I'm no hero. A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich, and I'm trying to cut down on my carbohydrates.
-Shaquille O'Neil

ehhhh freaking spurs..boo!!..even still..i know the lakers will prevail in the semi-finals=). except for being down because of the game, i'd say the rest of the weekend was very relaxing and mucho fun..thanx jovan & cici for the sat/sun days of fun..pool party and a beach day..what more could you ask for..even though i think i got cooked in the sun on saturday then even more overcooked yesterday at huntington..it was all worth it..but man, i kinda feel like a raisin right now..i think i was a bit dehydrated yesterday and i just have to replenish with lots of water today..

aww i’m so proud of cici pursuing her new career..i wish I could do the same w/ culinary school..heehee..i love to cook..even though it’s so hard to do now since I’m back at home and I don’t really have too much kitchen time these days..but i think that’ll always be like an aspiration of mine..to get serious about the cooking deal…mmm especially w/ desserts!!.i dunno..i mean I don’t hatehate my job right now..i mean hello..it is my major…but I don’t love it either..it’s just something I do to get by I guess..which I know is a poor excuse for keeping it..but I think I’m too scared of change..and it’s so hard for me to try and change my career path right now when I know my parents need my help..and it’s time that I pay them back for all they’ve given me..so I’ll put aside the whole cooking thing until I move out..i think once I move out I’ll hopefully be able to start taking culinary classes..that’d be way cool=)..so we’ll see..

blehhh I hate being in on Mondays..i’m so tired today..i think I took in too much sun this weekend..you know how the sun makes you tired and all..i feel all drained..please let this week go by fast..because so far the morning seems to really be dragging…

-aloha and mahalo...belle=)