Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do.
-Benjamin Spock

oh how i wish that were so true. there have been so many instances where i think i should do something but just doubt myself and look for reassurance. it's one thing that i've always been trying to improve. i remember back in junior high/high school, i was so dependent on what my parents & sisters thought on what i should be doing. i'd always be like, "hey should i do this? hey what do you think of that? are you sure that's okay?" and they were more than willing to give an opinion.

but i think when it was time for college, it sunk in my older sister's head that i had to be the one to make my own decisions..i needed to grow up. so whenever i'd call for advice, everyone would pawn it off to someone else. i'd ask my dad and he'd say ask your mom. i ask mom, she says ask your dad or ate. so i ask ate, and she'd just straight say, you need to make up your own mind i can't tell you what to do anymore. and as much as i'd always plead with her to help me and just give me her opinion..she just wouldn't. i guess that's a good thing and i'm thankful for it b/c eventually i started getting more decisive and more opinionated on certain things (mmm like when rude people piss me off or if we get bad service..hehe i now know how to handle those situations=P). of course i still get those times where i need to be told what i said/did was okay. i don't know why, habit i guess?

so i dunno...i guess what stemmed the thought was that, hello i'm 26. my parents aren't getting any younger. and i need to realize that and know that our roles are changing. i know i'm not dependent on them anymore..for a while i haven't been. but the parent/child roles have reversed. and now it's time for me to take care of dad & mom. even if i'm not at home, they still need us. it's just hard sometimes when a situation arises and there's nothing you can do to help. this time i (we) have to be the ones to reassure them that things will be okay. i guess i just don't know how to deal with it sometimes..but, if my parents were able to handle me & my sisters..then we should be able to help them as well. sorry. rambling.

let's change moods...it's friday right?..so let's start it with some GOOD laughs..muahhah..too bad we didn't see this during the actual game..but ha! take that nash!!!
courtesy of boyfriend:







haaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa=)...happy friday!

(must be spoken similar to pedro in napoleon dynamite=P)
I donnn't beelieve you, you CRAY-ZY.
-Ignacio, "Nacho"

hahaahha sorry had to say it..cuz it cracked me up the whole night..okay no spoilers..funny movie though..i don't believe you, you crazy! muahahah..okay done.

happy father's day again daddy..hehe hope you enjoyed the shopping spree this weekend at the outlets..man, outlets are so evil! since househunting got me a little sad, my brother-in-law suggest we cheer ourselves up and all go to the camarillo outlets..so while me & ate were spoiling daddy with some new threads, i tended to grab some stuff for myself here and there..hehe and also for mom since she didn't get a spree for mother's day and for little sister since she just finished finals..hehe..man, by the time i got home i was like..really? i can't believe i bought that much..well it may not be much to some, but to me it was..ooooh and i also got this grill/griddle thing too..excited about that since we don't have an outdoor grill hopefully the indoor one let's us grill up some yum-o steaks!..mmm..

oooooooooooooh and before i forget...CONGRATULATIONS TO ELAINE & LEN!!!! on their engagement!!! aww so happy for you guys! heheh so cute how he proposed too, that's so you elaine!!!=)

so we took lou's dad out to eat at this brazilian bbq place called amazon..it was sooo good! uhh did i mention it's all you can eat? yuuuuuum..they serve 23 different meats..i was only able to see 14..though i heard from lou they offered them chicken heart..eww..so i guess we saw 15 total..i loved all the steaks..sooooo good..dude i even tried alligator..haha when the guy came out with the skewers he's all "alligator??" and i started laughing..but he didn't..i was like.."you're kidding right?..no for real? umm okay i'll try a little." haha i felt so retarded..i heard from my coworker who's from new orleans say how good gator is, just like chicken he said..so yah..the one bite i had..texture is somewhat like chicken..had a smoky flavor too it..it was okay..but i would recommend to try it at least.

so starts the training for the duathlon..i biked today at lunch...just a measley 24 minute hill program..man that bike kicked my arse..and the seat was feeling really uncomfortable after 15 minutes..no idea how i'll get adjusted to the real bike seats..those things just look painful! such a quad workout though..way different feeling to me than running..haha when i was done my legs just got tight all of the sudden...ahhh no pain no gain..no guts no glory...freaking iron eagle!

When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
-Edward Teller

eventful weekend..all i can say is chocolate, cheese, san diego, friends, mud, marines and cameras make for interesting and memorable times..hahah..so c'mon, speaking of the mud run it was uber loads of fun. let's get more than one team next time out and do a wager..hahha that'll be motivational=P. so you'd think that tyrant boyfriend would let me rest since we just had an event on sunday. but what was i thinking? rest? there's no resting in TRAINING! yah, we're suppose to do this in august..and since i haven't really trained on a bike except for at the gym, hehe..louie boy wants to whip me into duathlon shape=P..gosh duathlon is such an ugly word compared to triathlon. but seeing as how i don't trust myself doing an open water swim, i'll stick to duathlons..hehe..

woohoo so me and tinzers finished our first ever decorated cakes on tuesday. i gave mine away to my co-worker seeing as how i'll be having to make a cake every week and don't want to go on cake overload..hehe so if anyone wants a cake let me know..otherwise i'll just bring them into work each week..or sadly..throw them away after i've taken a billion pics of them..hahah..oh, and if you want the cake let me know if you have a cake flavor preference=). so yah, once i develop my pics and get the pics from cici's camera uploaded..i'll be cheesy and post them up. we were so proud of ourselves after we decorated the cake on tuesday..haha no modesty needed..when the teacher was complimenting us we were all shy taking the compliments. but once we got home we were all like..awwwwwwwww the cakes look so pretty..hahah..but man, i have a new appreciation for those crazy decorated cakes you see on display. so much detail..makes for a sore hand and arm man! squeezing out that frosting is a workout in itself!! i do suck at cake writing though, that's the one thing i'm like eww yuck about..totally ruined my cake..hahah..one day i'll get better=). preparing the cake is freaking tiresome, but the decorating part is soooooooooo much fun! i'm so excited for next week already.

so me & boyfriend are going to look at houses again this weekend..kinda excited but at the same time trying to be realistic in how hard it's really going to be to actually get the one we like. so sad. i guess i should set myself up for disappointment so that i'm not too sad if we can't get it? yah maybe i should try that..blahhhhhhhhh freaking housing market toying with my emotions!..hehe

i'm surprised at how fast this week has been going. ive been so swamped this week at work that i guess time is just flying by. enough time to pass for me to take a look at the date today and realize, dang it's already mid june! time to hit the beaches yo!!!!

We don't see things as they are.
We see them as we are.
-Anais Nin

i learned something this weekend..well i guess i've always known, it was just proven again in vegas..hehe..why is it that when girls go out (a la a bachelorette party) we can just have fun with ourselves. we can drink on our own, dance in our own group, laugh at all the cheesy male strippers..and have such a great time..whereas guys? (a la a bachelor party) can't. it's like they do the exact opposite. they need other women to still have a good time. sure they can drink on their own, they can't dance on their own like we can, and they sure as heck can't be at a strip club w/o getting enough eye candy for the night. so why is that? must be the age old men are from mars women are from venus syndrome.

not that i mind or anything, i can just never really understand it..but then again, can you imagine a group of guys dancing in a circle amongst themselves? i think the only time i can justify it is if they were breakers=P. and i guess it makes sense for guys to drool over the strippers and get their share of lap dances (hopefully from the hot ones!!) b/c i guess if they didn't, it'd just be weird or they'd be gay? i dunno..i think guy strippers are yuck. i mean yah most of them had nice bodies, but c'mon now..how come we have to deal with some cheesy show where they lip sync to songs and are dressed like it was a halloween party before they get to the nitty gritty? i think that's why i like going to the girl strip clubs..they get straight to the point and it's fun when we go in a big group and just see those girls working these guys..hahahhah.

but anyhow...it was freaaaaaaaking hot in vegas..spf 50 my ass! it just seemed to melt off right when i put it on=P..but i did enjoy rolling in the mustang..woohoo pretty fun car to drive..too bad the guys got to keep it for the weekend when we got to vegas..what did the girls ride in? the minivan of course..hahah..and me & lou couldn't pass up on the photo ops..hehe being the hams, we pulled over at one of those deserted exits and just started taking shots of us posing with the blue mustang..hahaha.sooooooo fun! too bad we were melting with each second=P..we were trying to go at the xkfjidy exit, but oh well we must've passed it.


tada!!


haha boyfriend thinks he's james dean=P

and dude, what's up with the barstow outlets? it's like all the stores disappeared! that place is like a ghost town..well actually seemed more like a mini chinatown seeing as how the foodcourt became a chinese buffet and a lot of the stores were asian owned selling random stuff. man, the outlets used to be fun too..at least they still have some stores at the other outlets across the street.

ooooooh on a random thought..we went clubbing at tao in venetian..that place is pretty nice..drinks were freaking strong..well considering that the instead of one shot, the guy seemed to have given us a double shot of henessey..oh man..i was good after that one..ha til lou's cousin got us a round of hen & coke..maaaaaaaaan=P.. the bathrooms suck though..c'mon 3 stalls? for a gajillion women???? but anyways, as i was saying, random thought..we saw dennis rodman..man he looks worn out and aged..and while walking into tao we saw little jon walking in too! (ooooooooo-kay!)..okay that was my star gazing for the weekend.

ooooh and before i forget...one last seattle pic..this one was for dana..hehe when i saw it i told lou he HAD to take a pic for you=P




hehe but we had to take it twice..b/c ummm i made a mistake and had him take it of the other asian guy first..haha and lou's like, dana likes ichiro foo!!!..hahah

Good luck is the result of trying again.
-Sobe Green Tea Cap=P

yay it's friday! been looking forward to the weekend..hehe so much work to make up this week..but all worth the good fun of going on a mini-vacation. seattle & vancouver were awesome!! awesome to the max man..haha..here's a short photo recap for me to remember:


seattle! (view from the space needle)


mmmmmmmmmm seafood brunch at salty's by alki beach..haha alki..this gave me a new appreciation for oysters..the last 2 times i've tried them i really didn't like it..but this time around, those blue canal oysters went down smooth..and i think the sauce that we concocted added to the good flavor..i still don't get why it's better to just let them slide down your throat instead of chewing it..oh well, still learning the art of eating oysters=P


view from the restaurant..always cloudy in seattle.


for you coffee enthusiasts..the very first starbucks! with a very revealing logo=P


they're making cheeeeeeeeeese!


i love me some beecher's handmade cheese!!


why i loved seattle!


vancouver!


lynn creek at the base of twin falls in vancouver


lynn canyon park suspension bridge..hehe and i wanted to take a picture of all of us jumping in the air..but i got overruled=P..i wonder how the landing would've been


pretty nice border welcome eh? haven't seen this down south=P


at the buddhist temple in vancouver


had such yuuuuuuum desserts!!


why i loved vancouver! i have to explain it all b/c some of the stuff is hidden by that wall of WHITE CHOCOLATE..haha i thought it was a wafer..but it was freaking chocolate!! so you have a layered chocolate cake surrounded by white chocolate syrup with chocolate swirls and rasberries to enhance the flaver. on the sides of the white chocolate wall are 2 scoops of chocolate mousse with a scoop of chocolate ice cream hiding behind the wall..can we say..yuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

so yah, that's my picture summary..we went crazy taking pics but too many to post and i have these all on my flickr anyways...so view to your delight=). i'm glad i was able to go this weekend..hehe traveling with the cousins is a trip..it was an action packed weekend from sleeping in the wee morning hourse to waking up at the butt crack of dawn..what threw us off was their sunset times..in vancouver we'd eat dinner at like 730pm and we'd come out and the sun is still out! not setting til around 10pm and seattle was around 930. crazy..

i always feel so touristy going on those city tours but they're so insightful. like did you know seattle has pretty much like an underground city? that the city we see right now is like 30 feet above the original sidewalks? and that the starbucks was supposed to be named starbo's? after a character in the moby dick novel..hhaha that's funny, "hey let's go get some starbo's!"..ewwww sounds funky. so good weekend in all..i swear most of our spending went to such good food, but no complaints here=)..haha i'm such a piggy!

i'll be heading out to vegas for a bachelorette party...haha we rented a convertible mustang..hopefully it's one of the new one's! i think that'll be only my second time in a convertible..but dude..it should be worth it, it's freaking going to be like 107 degrees out there..so we want to head out early to beat the heat and maybe take pictures in the desert along the way=P.

oh and for those of you who loved embarassing me about that freaking article..this'll give you another laugh. so i was there at the center again on wednesday and i guess there was a tour group scheduled that day as well..and where was the group from??? WASHINGTON!!. so when they asked my co-worker if we read the washington post b/c there was an article about us in there last week, my co-worker was more than happy to point me out to them! ahhh what a buster!..so i get tapped on the back, hahah i was soooo trying to pretend i couldn't hear them talking about me earlier..but since he tapped me i had to turn around..and 2 of the washington guys were like, oh you're the 15 year old, haha do you know you're famous?...grrrrrrrrreat...freaking reporters..hehehhe

and yaaaaaaaaay belated congratulations to jay and best wishes to roommate!! haha did i get that right cicely/dana?=P...and congrats to caren on your masters..wish i could go!!...sooooo everyone have a fantabulous weekend...

Youth has no age.
-Pablo Picasso

first of all i have to say congratulations to my cousins amy & kuya for the birth of their 3rd healthy baby, and 1st girl=)..welcome kaylena malea who was born saturday, may 20th:


soooooooo cute!


hehe rock on baby girl=P


feeeeeets!

pardon the photo quality..bad auntie forgot to bring her camera and had to settle with taking a zillion pics from my camera phone=P

and to my cousins levi & dean on the birth of their firstborn, baylin (oh i hope i spelled that right!) sorry guys that i didn't get to visit!! this is the only picture i was able to get sent to me=P


baby baylin up close, hehe

hehe last week was all baby week man. and my other cousin is due next month! crazy. aww newborns are so cute..i love their little feets and hands=). too bad the nurse totally wrapped up kaylena all tight, she looked like a burrito. haha..so congratulations again to my cousins and their healthy newborns!

so while boyfriend and them were off to mammoth, i hung out with my sister and her in-laws..hehe it was cool. we went shopping at the huuuuuuge victoria gardens and then we went back to the house where we learned how to make home made lasagne..yum! and an apple gallette..sooo good and quick to make that i'm going to make it for fondue night..hehe..my mouth is already watering on things i want to bake=). gosh never realized how long lasagne took to make, but dude it was soo worth it in the end! ahhh cooking/baking is fun..so hopefully me & tinz can get registered for that cake decorating class so we can learn more. yah yah go ahead and laugh, but you'll love the designs we come up with when we make YOUR birthday cakes..haha.

i can't wait for this day to be over. this whole week..okay well just tu/wed since i was off monday, have been so freaking busy. at least the days went by quick. but it's such a rush when you're trying to finish things before you leave for the weekend. and since i'm not in tomorrow, i'm in more of bind to get everything completed.

any why am i off tomorrow??..hehe tonight me, lou & my cousins are flying out to seattle!! woohoo, one of the cities i've been wanting to go to. totally a spontaneous trip in which i had to cancel on something that i feel bad about not attending=/and twist boyfriend's arm so that we could fit it into our budget=P...but okay i shouldn't think about that or else i'll just not enjoy my stay in seattle. we're going to try to drive up to canadia too, into vancouver on saturday. hopefully that all turns out..hehe assuming me & louie boy can find our passports??!! grrreat. but i'm really excited..yet totally confused cuz this is probably the least prepared i've ever been for a vacation since it was so last minute. oh well, since we're not familiar with the area i'm sure we'll be in awe of everything..haha even the rain and cold weather=(. please don't get sick..please!

ooooh lost was so good..answered many questions yet left many new ones unanswered. i can't believe we have to wait til september to see what happens. but i can only emphasize, grrr how much i dislike michael and wished hurley had jumped on him like how he attacked sawyer..haha! before lost we (me & cicely) were craving chinese food and getting to eat it out of the cute little take out boxes. so after much searching for a place that delivered or was still open, we finally found one. only to find out that they took our orders wrong, the boyfriends had to go pick it up for us, and we didn't get to eat out of the cute little boxes with our chopsticks=(..haha silly. i think i've been watching too much sex and the city, cuz i always see carrie eating like that and it just looks so fun sometimes. okay just me=P

anyways...beach next weekend anyone? summer is upon us=)

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
-Charles Monroe Schulz, Lucy Van Pelt in Peanuts

alright so i already knew how much i loved chocolate..but man cheese is working it's way up there..i loooooove cheese..i've been snacking on a wedge of brie from trader joe's for the past week now..it's soooooo yummy! hehe i think that's why i love wine tasting b/c you get to eat all the cheese=P.. i can't wait til our fondue party..haha just need to find a free weekend. yum brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti..*drooling* mmm cheese..okay i'll stop.=)

geez this week seems to go by so slow..weird b/c i've been so busy at work that you'd think the week would go by faster..maybe it's cuz i'm looking forward to the weekend? since i can't go to mammoth i'll be hanging out with my sister's for the weekend..hehe and saturday looks to be like a day full of baking lessons/shopping/girly stuff (aka waxing)..haha hopefully it all works out. i swear man, seems like the busy weekends are starting again..

i can't see a free weekend til mid-june and there's so many things that i know i have to plan out still..at least i was able to get most of me & boyfriend's anniversary planned out ahead of time..yay exciting..hahah thanx to joesan's blog i found out about the bbd/swv/en vogue/bobby brown reunion concert at the greek theatre..and yes, knowing me & my love for the old school..houston we are a go..woohoo we get to see them in concert..i'm soooo excited for bbd's poison and swv's "weak"..hahah okay the other songs too..but those are just so memorable=P.. and if i could i would go to this too! hehe but i think only tommy can appreciate it as much as me! c'mon, connie/debbie deb/johnny o/trinere/soul sonic force/etc...now THAT's bringing it back to the old school!!!!!!..but alas, i cannot go...already going to something else..but that would've been soooo cool..hehe well, except i'm wondering how the crowd would be..haha..but still, nice right?

so how important does politics play in a relationship? i'm not much into politics like my 2 sisters are..but i guess i should be lucky that me & lou don't have arguments about what political party each of us is. b/c my co-worker is semi-republican leading to democrat and his gf is hard core republican..and they're always arguing about things..and i know i'm not much of a political savant..but i do know that we need to be open minded to certain issues and not so jaded by what our parents/religion have us believe. sorry that sounds kinda bad..let me clarify.

i know that majority of catholics are also considered to be republican b/c of the moral practices..main one being how both are opposed to abortion. but is that reason enough to dismiss thinking about becoming democrat? i know pro-life/pro-choice are huge arguments, but i would think that one could be pro-life and democrat as well right? well my co-worker's gf doesn't think so and keeps preaching on how since republicans are pro-life, that we all, as catholics should be republican as well..no ifs and or buts..i dunno, to me i don't see the justification in that. i don't mean to make this all political and push for democrats..ha, and coming from me i'm probably talking nonsense since i barely keep up w/ politics..but i just thought it was a really narrow minded way of thinking. there are so many other issues that should make someone choose what party they want..ehh there's more but don't feel like going into it..that just kinda bugged me that's all..hehe okay i'm done.

man..all the field work today and passing by the carl's jr's is making me crave a western bacon cheeseburger..mmmm...and yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay stomp tonight!!! i can't wait.